growing up....for both of us
My life is not the same, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.
It has been confirmed, my son does indeed have cerebral palsy, i think some level of atheoid because nothing else fits the bill really. when he's excited he cant seem to keep still. if i have him standing (supported) his right foot sometimes keeps moving as though the ground is hot, i have to keep telling him quiet feet.... small things really.
My pumpkin still cannot walk independently, he uses a 'pony' (type of walker) and that has given him a sense of independence, yay! last time i was on, he was signing very well, i didnt think he would be too vocal even though i remained hopeful and never gave up reading to him, getting him to interact and respond anyway he felt comfortable,as long as he didnt get frustrated, and his hard work paid off, my pumpkin is now vocal :) some words/sentences require a tad more effort to decipher, but he asks questions, gets his point across, and can basically express himself vocally. he's still receiving speech therapy though so that we can fine tune his speech.
he also recently became integrated into a mainstream school. this was my anxiety point. all the fears i had, would he be accepted, would he make friends, how would he be treated, not to mention that his fine motor skills are not good at all and so writing legibly is out of the question at present. even though he is vocal, his response is still considerably slower than average. so of course i worried.
well hes made friends, but being in a typical school has also highlighted to him that he was different. in special ed where he was before, he never stuck out, because the other kids had varying disabilities, now hes the only one. my heart broke a night when he was saying his prayers a night after school, and he said "God puh-lease help me to walk"..i immediately began to tear up... i knelt beside him and asked him why would he ask God for that, and he said his friend told him that he couldnt walk or talk. at this point i wondered if i had done the right thing by mainstreaming, but i put those fears aside. I told him that he maybe different from the other kids but thts what made him him. We would all love him to walk someday independently, but until that day comes, he has to see past his disabilities and focus on his abilities (alot of words i hope tht werent lost on him), bottom line, however, i told him,whether you walk or not, you will always be loved, and that he had alot to offer the world, and whether or not he felt accepted at school, he can be comforted knowing hes coming to a home that loves him unconditionally.
I weaken when i think of others seeing him as odd or strange, but i cannot buffer his world, he needs to be bold and strong, and learn how to deal with situations and different people, only then can he find his independence.
my heart still heaves each day i take him to school and leave, but when i collect him in the evening i feel on top of the world because he had conquered yet another day...
ive truly discovered what unconditional love means through my pumpkin... we'll keep moving mountains, pebble by pebble, but it doesnt matter, as long as we get it moved, and with his determination, they come down one after the next...
It has been confirmed, my son does indeed have cerebral palsy, i think some level of atheoid because nothing else fits the bill really. when he's excited he cant seem to keep still. if i have him standing (supported) his right foot sometimes keeps moving as though the ground is hot, i have to keep telling him quiet feet.... small things really.
My pumpkin still cannot walk independently, he uses a 'pony' (type of walker) and that has given him a sense of independence, yay! last time i was on, he was signing very well, i didnt think he would be too vocal even though i remained hopeful and never gave up reading to him, getting him to interact and respond anyway he felt comfortable,as long as he didnt get frustrated, and his hard work paid off, my pumpkin is now vocal :) some words/sentences require a tad more effort to decipher, but he asks questions, gets his point across, and can basically express himself vocally. he's still receiving speech therapy though so that we can fine tune his speech.
he also recently became integrated into a mainstream school. this was my anxiety point. all the fears i had, would he be accepted, would he make friends, how would he be treated, not to mention that his fine motor skills are not good at all and so writing legibly is out of the question at present. even though he is vocal, his response is still considerably slower than average. so of course i worried.
well hes made friends, but being in a typical school has also highlighted to him that he was different. in special ed where he was before, he never stuck out, because the other kids had varying disabilities, now hes the only one. my heart broke a night when he was saying his prayers a night after school, and he said "God puh-lease help me to walk"..i immediately began to tear up... i knelt beside him and asked him why would he ask God for that, and he said his friend told him that he couldnt walk or talk. at this point i wondered if i had done the right thing by mainstreaming, but i put those fears aside. I told him that he maybe different from the other kids but thts what made him him. We would all love him to walk someday independently, but until that day comes, he has to see past his disabilities and focus on his abilities (alot of words i hope tht werent lost on him), bottom line, however, i told him,whether you walk or not, you will always be loved, and that he had alot to offer the world, and whether or not he felt accepted at school, he can be comforted knowing hes coming to a home that loves him unconditionally.
I weaken when i think of others seeing him as odd or strange, but i cannot buffer his world, he needs to be bold and strong, and learn how to deal with situations and different people, only then can he find his independence.
my heart still heaves each day i take him to school and leave, but when i collect him in the evening i feel on top of the world because he had conquered yet another day...
ive truly discovered what unconditional love means through my pumpkin... we'll keep moving mountains, pebble by pebble, but it doesnt matter, as long as we get it moved, and with his determination, they come down one after the next...
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