Growing through the HARD times
Lately, life’s been a mix of heavy and hopeful.
I’ve had some hard days... mentally, emotionally, even spiritually. There are things that still hurt, things I don't always know how to talk about. But even in that, I’m starting to feel God working in me. I'm leaning into prayer more, trying to trust Him even when I don’t understand everything. Some nights, I pray over people I care about or just ask for peace when my mind won’t quiet down. I’m learning that healing doesn’t always come fast but it does come.
I’ve also been pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I started promoting my photography more, actually putting it out there instead of just keeping it to myself. It’s scary, but exciting too. I’m realizing that I can do something with this passion. That I don’t have to wait for everything to be perfect before I start.
Some days I still feel overwhelmed. But I’m also learning that progress isn’t about having it all together, it’s about showing up, trying, and trusting that I’m being shaped into someone stronger. I can't sleep at night. I have had barely any sleep in like 4 days. I lay there with my body pillow wishing it was Tristan and the feeling of being where I belong and safe. He is my comfort place, my home, my safety.
Replies
If God is so great and you pray and give to him all the time, why does he make you feel this way? Why doesn't he just fix you if you're that dedicated and God is real?
It's not easy to do this, believe me. I get scared to the point I'm sick sometimes. It's surreal and I'm beside myself for what I'm doing next month. We advertise differently and it's going to boom when you don't expect it. We're never ready for the first or next step. It just happens. Stay strong and go with it. Keep praying and and don't stop believing in yourself. I should take my own advice sometimes but that's how it goes sometimes. Loves.
Thank you for sharing your heart so openly — that takes real courage. What you’re feeling right now is so human, so honest. And even if it doesn’t feel like it, your pain is sacred ground. You’re walking through hard things, but you’re not walking alone.
You mentioned how you pray at night, how you're leaning into your passion, even while your heart aches for someone who felt like home. That kind of ache is real — and I believe God hears it. He’s not waiting for you to get it all together. He’s already with you in the messy middle, quietly forming something new in you, even when sleep won’t come.
You’re learning something deep: that healing doesn’t always come fast, but it does come. It comes through showing up, trying again, feeling deeply, and trusting that even this pain will shape you into someone stronger and more whole.
Keep holding on. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved. You already are.
To Big_Bad_Wolf:
You asked an honest question, and I respect that. If someone’s praying, trusting, and still hurting — why doesn’t God just fix it?
That same question was asked to Jesus once — not by a philosopher, but by a man dying beside Him on a cross.
One of the men crucified next to Jesus said:
“If you’re really the Messiah, save yourself — and us too!”
But the other man — also suffering — said,
“This man has done nothing wrong… Jesus, remember me when You come into Your kingdom.”
And Jesus answered,
“Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”
Even Jesus — who had the power to call down angels — didn’t “fix” the situation by coming down from the cross. Instead, He stayed in the pain with us. He didn’t avoid suffering; He transformed it. That’s what love does.
Sometimes God doesn’t remove the suffering — because He’s using it to reshape something deeper in us. Not to punish, but to awaken. Not to destroy, but to rebuild from the inside out.
So no, God doesn't always "fix" things the way we expect. But He always shows up. And sometimes, what looks like silence is actually the sound of a miracle being born — one that will make sense only later, when the healing has had time to take root.
It sounds like you're going through a lot! I'm really sorry it's been so hard. The way you're praying, trying to trust, and holding on to hope - that's strength, even if it doesn't always feel like it. I'm sure you know how happy I am that you're stepping out with your photography! Your work deserves to be seen, and you don't need to wait for the "perfect" time, because what you have to offer right now matters (and is amazing!). I believe in you, and as Chas said, don't ever stop believing in yourself and your ability to accomplish great things.
@Wolf - Struggle doesn't disprove God - it deepens faith. Prayer isn't about getting instant solutions; it's about finding peace, strength, and connection in the middle of difficulty. That's what she is trying to do. She's not broken; she's healing.
Many people have asked the same questions. Why doesn't God just "fix" things? Because wouldn't an all-powerful, all-loving God want to put an end to the pain, suffering, and injustice we see and experience?
There are reasons why God doesn't waive His magic wand and make everything OK. For one, God values free will and doesn't force people to choose Him. Originally, creation was good, but humans chose to rebel against God and introduced sin, suffering, and death into the world (see the book of Genesis). God allows our freedom - He doesn't coerce love, obedience, or trust. But with that comes the possibility of pain. Sometimes that pain is self-inflicted; sometimes it's inflicted by others. God could intervene constantly, but then we'd be stripped of real choice. Freedom is part of what makes us human.
Also, God uses our suffering not as punishment, but as a tool for growth. We get stronger through our trials. And we learn. For example, we wouldn't know courage if we didn't experience fear.
God also operates on a different timeline. We want things our way, right now. Sometimes, God's answer is "not yet." And what can seem like silence or inaction is actually God working in ways that we cannot understand.
If you'd like to talk about this further, feel free to message me.
Wolf - The struggle I am going through right now id from the devil trying to distract me and turn from God. The devil will never win!
Nutin_Special - Thank you. I know you go through it too.
Bob - That is facts and its deep.
Judy - God is so powerful!!!
If that's the case then the devil is doing a lot to get me. It's just hard to believe that this is what's going on.
Yeah I know