Grow Up

You say you want this You’re just not ready But you keep changing your mind And now I don’t know if I can believe anything you tell me Because everything you tell me you contradict later on And it’s driving me insane. I want to be with you Now, in the future, whenever I can finally have what I want But I don’t know how I will ever believe you If you tell me one day that you’re ready That you want this Because you’ve said it before And you’ll say it again And it’s always a question of how long How long will you still want this before you change your mind again? You say you’re not ready But if you’re not ready now And you were ready before When the hell can I believe you will be ready for real? How can I know when it’s time to risk it all again Risk getting hurt again? If you love me, and you want me What the fuck is so hard to figure out? I get it – it’s scary But fuck... so is everything in life that’s worth giving a damn about That’s no reason to throw it away Everything that matters is hard to manage sometimes Everything that matters is scary But it’s worth the effort and it’s worth the risk But I guess that’s just me Not everyone is willing to sacrifice comfort for desire Not everyone is willing to risk security happiness  I guess it’s just a matter of value Which do you value more? Feeling secure, even though you know there is more to life that makes it less empty Or feeling less empty, even though you lack the security of only having your self? I know what I want But I guess it’s not up to me And I don’t know what to do When you decide you’re ready And you come back and ask me to risk feeling like this again What if you change your mind again? I can’t do this much more I’ve pulled through so much with you I’ve put up with so much for you And I can’t do it again just to get hurt again I can’t let you think you love me again and again I can’t let myself think you love me again and again When I never know how long it’s going to last One day I’m perfect The next I’m too much One day you’re happy The next you can’t take it It’s like you don’t want to be happy or something Like you prefer being fine but knowing something is missing Rather than letting someone in who will never fucking hurt you Never fucking lie to you Never fucking cheat on you or fuck with your head Just in case they actually do The only person hurting you is you The only person making this a risk is you It’s not a risk with me It’s not a fucking gamble It’s the real deal It’s a girl who cares so much that no matter how much she realizes she is just going to get hurt she’s willing to risk it over and over again just for those moments when you do let her get close I know it’s me who’s  gunna get their heart ripped out I’ve come to terms with it I don’t want to get hurt – who the hell does? But I’m still willing to risk it Because everything worthwhile is worth a risk And requires a risk So I just hope one of these days you’ll grow up And you’ll be able to convince me that you have Which might not be so easy. It’s time to drop those childish dreams of an easy comfortable life Those days are long gone And they’re never coming back They ended the day you became a man From that day forward life is a gigantic risk And the only way to get through it is to accept the fact And take the risks And take what you can get that’s worth taking Like love for instance Like anything else that makes life worth living, it might just be worth it Maybe we don’t need love But it sure makes the world less lonely It sure makes daily life a little more enjoyable Ok is ok, and I’ll take it if that’s what I can get But better is better And I’ll take what I can get Anything that makes life less boring Anything that makes life less lonely Anything that makes life just a little more fulfilling I’ll take it And love falls into that category So what’s the fuckin problem?