Grouchy........

God I am so freaking tired of being in pain or being unable to hold a coherant conversation, it's one or the other and sometimes it's both.  I sound like an idiot, I look like a raisin with my face all crinkled up, I smell like Bengay, I appear to be a slacker at work. I can't explain to everyone how exhausted I am on Monday, let alone the levels by Friday.  I want to say the F word 3 times over.  I really hate Lupus.  I really hate that there is no cure. I really hate that they have no idea what causes it or how to really control it.  I really hate feeling less than because I don't feel positive, I don't feel that I'm handling it with grace.  *@#$@**&%@