Grieving the loss of my husband

On August 15th, 2017 my husband of 24 years passed away from the disease of alcoholism.  We separated almost 2 years ago but stayed close even living in the same apartment complex.  This last year he had lost his job, isolated from everyone and only left his apartment to go to the store to purchase the "last" bottle.  I made it clear that if he was clean and sober, we could spend time together but if he made poor choices, it would be best if he stayed away.  I was so done with the dysfunctional relationship that only got worse when alcohol was added to the mix.  So, for the last 2 months, the disease progressed rapidly and he was unable to control it. 

On that Tuesday morning, I made a well check call when I noticed that his car hadn't moved in several days.  Police arrived and found his apartment unlocked and they discovered his body in his bed.  I got a call for a police officer who gave me the news that I never wanted to hear.  I knew he was struggling but I never lost hope. 

Sadly, he died alone.  No, he wasn't alone..... I know that God was with him during his darkest moments and God was there to take him home. My heart aches for the loss of my husband and for our three children. Anxiety, depression, anger, frustration are all too consuming. So, I do what I have been doing for the past 9 months, I attend Al-Anon meetings 4- 5 days a week. It helps to keep me sane being supported by some many men and women experiencing the effect of addiction with a family members.

I miss my husband and my life will never be the same.