Grieving hard..........

Dear lovely PEACE members,
 
    This supportive group is such a big help to me. I do not post often however I read quite a bit, and can relate with so many of you. And I love the journal entry capabiltity!!
 
    Im trying to keep myself busy this weekend, it is my GD birthday Monday, she will be 8 years old. My daughter and I have not spoken in about 7 months, zero contact, except for a xmas package I mailed to the gks. It saddens me deeply that once again I will not be invited to gk birthday party. There is so much to grieve, loss of memories, love, and time that could be spent with family and gks. 
   My daughter has chosen this path, its a loooong and complicated story. So I know I dont deserve any of this and ask myself all the time why I am I here?
 
   I struggled for a month with thoughts and feelings regarding whether I should send gift to gd or not....Im not sure if they will get it?  who knows....
 
     So trying to take care of me, will go to yoga today and be easy on myself.....
 
many hugs and love to all of you.....xxxoooo
yogibear
 
P>S> so the next gk birthday is in april, and of course I will do the samething, send a gift...but if this estrangement continues not sure I can keep sending gifts.....
I would love to hear what others have done?
greatly appreciate it.