Grieving

I have shared my ups and downs with becoming sober 6 years ago and also my relationship. But this is the hardest thing I have ever been through. 8/8/16 is the day my life and my children's lives was forever changed. My boyfriend of 10 years died in a car accident. He was on his way to pick me up from work and go school shopping for our daughter. My heart breaks for what my children saw. I don't want to ask because I don't want them to relive it and I don't ask because I can't handle it. I just lost my grandmother in March. It seems like everytime I start to pick myself up. I get hit with another blow. I am truly heartbroken. My heart is breaking but I am so grateful that my children are alive. I could have lost all of them that day. But how do you help your children through this when you are lost yourself.