Grief revisted
My anxiety is up. I cried to sleep and I cried when I wake up. Sound so familiar. I cannot get the image of him (my broke up partner) out of my mind. Like I could not get Andy out of mind at those times. When I think of the happy times we had together, I cried. When I think of the way I felt disappointment, I cried. When I think of how the future would be, I am so fearful.
This was exactly how I went through my grief with Andy. And now, just a simple love relationship break up can do some much harm.
All I want to do is to sleep it off. Never wake up again and face this world.
Yes. I trust in my Divine Master. I trust in Jesus, knowing He has a plan for me. I ask for strength to endure this cross that weighs so heavy on me. I am also mad at myself... all the hard work I did for the last 22 months to bring myself back to afloat period seems to push way back down in the deepest ocean again.
I forgive him. He does not mean to hurt me but life and love are that way. It happens. One cannot force anything to happen. You just have to flow along with life and take whatever it blows to your face. Should it be a nice sun ray, a warm breeze or a snow or sand storm. We just have to accept. If we get knock down, we just climb back up again, no matter how long it takes for us to stand back up.
This was exactly how I went through my grief with Andy. And now, just a simple love relationship break up can do some much harm.
All I want to do is to sleep it off. Never wake up again and face this world.
Yes. I trust in my Divine Master. I trust in Jesus, knowing He has a plan for me. I ask for strength to endure this cross that weighs so heavy on me. I am also mad at myself... all the hard work I did for the last 22 months to bring myself back to afloat period seems to push way back down in the deepest ocean again.
I forgive him. He does not mean to hurt me but life and love are that way. It happens. One cannot force anything to happen. You just have to flow along with life and take whatever it blows to your face. Should it be a nice sun ray, a warm breeze or a snow or sand storm. We just have to accept. If we get knock down, we just climb back up again, no matter how long it takes for us to stand back up.
Replies
You entered that relationship, as I\'ve said before, perhaps too soon. You were needy and vulnerable, not a good place to be when you\'re trying to build a relationship with a man. He was unable to fill your void, no one can do that but you with God\'s help. I don\'t want to see another bereaved mother crash and burn because of a man. Think about the reality: such a long distance relationship is basically impossible, so why did you get caught up in it? Because of the void - the need to love and be loved - that was created by the loss of Andy. This wasn\'t just a \"simple relationship\", it was a replacement. You weren\'t ready for an emotional attachment. I think you are still grieving Andy. I suggest you find a therapist who can help you come to terms with your unresolved grief and help you to better understand your need for emotional validation: this is normal. Don\'t let this person, who seems to have done you more harm than good, DO THIS TO YOU. STOP. You\'re still grieving the loss that devastates lives, and you do NOT have to allow an interloper...someone you barely know in real life....to take you to a place of despair.
I\'m sorry..yes grief/pain so much alike even if for different reasons..I hope you find peace with the break-up..or find ways to bring some peace to the things we endure...Love Sandi