Grief revisted

My anxiety is up.  I cried to sleep and I cried when I wake up.  Sound so familiar.  I cannot get the image of him (my broke up partner) out of my mind.  Like I could not get Andy out of mind at those times.  When I think of the happy times we had together, I cried.  When I think of the way I felt disappointment, I cried.  When I think of how the future would be, I am so fearful. 
This was exactly how I went through my grief with Andy.  And now, just a simple love relationship break up can do some much harm. 
All I want to do is to sleep it off.  Never wake up again and face this world.
Yes. I trust in my Divine Master.  I trust in Jesus, knowing He has a plan for me.  I ask for strength to endure this cross that weighs so heavy on me.  I am also mad at myself... all the hard work I did for the last 22 months to bring myself back to afloat period seems to push way back down in the deepest ocean again. 
I forgive him.  He does not mean to hurt me but life and love are that way.  It happens.  One cannot force anything to happen.  You just have to flow along with life and take whatever it blows to your face.  Should it be a nice sun ray, a warm breeze or a snow or sand storm.  We just have to accept.  If we get knock down, we just climb back up again, no matter how long it takes for us to stand back up.