Green Smiley Monday- mixed with sadness

On Saturday I went to Matt's wake. The calling hours were 2 to 5 & then the "gathering" as I like to refer to it at a local restaurant to celebrate this young man's life. I didn't go to the gathering, but went to the wake to pay my respects early in the afternoon. Matt's widow Jill was on "auto-pilot". I said I had no words but did say, "You and Matt had a special and rare love story". She said, "That it was.." I met Matt's mom & dad and his sister and her husband. His sister was sobbing and his mom looked like all of us did. His dad and I talked a bit about what a loving and kind man Matt was. I left a sympathy card for Jill and her children and I also left a card for Matt's mom and dad and explained that I had lost my adult son too and that it had helped me to talk to others who has lost a child. I wrote my phone number in the card. I hope they call me. I did ok, but didn't stay long. I just about lost it when I saw on top of the closed casket a stuffed bear that said "Bruins" for our Boston hockey team. Ed's casket was surrounded with Bruins memoirbilia as Ed was a huge (he would say the biggest fan ever) Bruins fan as was Jill's husband. I left quickly and ran to my car & burst into tears. So sad for Matt, for Ed, for all our kids!
BUT, the signs...the beautiful signs I have been receiving! I will try to explain them. Hope its not too confusing. The first sign. On Wednesday, 4/11, Matt's mother in law called our program to tell us that Matt was in the final hours of the dying process. My co-workers and I cried and I asked my co-workers if we could pray so we prayed. After our prayer we all talked about the tragedies that have hit our school in the last few years. 11 months before Ed died a little girl named Aleksus (pronounced like Alexis) died from leukemia after a 2 year battle. My sweet son prayed desperately for Aleksus to be healed but as in his way after some tears went right into praying for the family after her death. My coworkers and I talked about the irony - who knew a short time later my son would leave for Heaven too? About a half hour later as I drove home thinking about Matt, Aleksus and Ed - what pulled in front of me? A car with the license plate "Aleksus"! What are the chances? Aleksus's name on a license plate? Spelled that way? And those of you that have known me for a while know that Ed communicates with me through license plates. No chance - it was a sign. I was still crying but then had joy as I know my message from Ed was that they are all together, Aleksus, Ed and now Matt was to join them. Matt died the next morning surrounded by family.
So it continues...after the wake as I said I had to get outta there as I truly did not want to call attention to myself. My tears were for Matt, but Ed too. Both young men, both dads, both Bruins fans, both someone's sons. I was driving home from a town about a half hour away in Essex county (I live in Middlesex county) and wondering if Matt & Ed were friends already & talking sports and then I saw signs (literal signs) you know the kind in people's front yards promoting a politician for office? Well they were everywhere and the name on the sign of the person running for office was Ed Sullivan. This is significant because well - Ed's name is Ed and Matt's last name is Sullivan! Ed Sullivan! They are together! Not being from that county I had not heard that candidate's name before driving through Andover, MA.
Oops, almost forgot! As I was driving to the wake thinking about Jill and the truly rare and special marriage Jill and Matt had shared a song I hadn't heard in years and years came on the radio. It was Randy Travis singing, "Forever and Ever, Amen". It is a touching love song that is worth googling just to catch the lyrics.
What do you think? Great signs, aren't they? Even my granddaughter Christina was impressed with all the signs when I told her about them yesterday and she doesn't buy into the signs so much! So green smiley for signs and blessings and our kids with us always. I am comforted to know our kids are together surrounded in divine love.
Thank you, God for the signs and comfort you send. Please tell our kids we love and miss them. Comfort Matt's loved ones in these awful early days. In Jesus name. Amen.
Ed, I know you and Matt are fast friends now. You and he never met here but you have a lot in common. From the beards to the Bruins to the love ofa cold beer and the love for your children. You are both such sweet and kind souls. I love you, Eddie. Forever and ever, amen!
Love and peace to all of us weary moms as we travel this journey. xoxo