Green Smiley Monday
Hi everyone, I hope everyone had a peaceful Christmas and/or weekend. I am grateful that mine was gentler this 2nd one without Eddie being here. The 1st Christmas last year was 3 months after he had passed and it was brutal! For those of you new to this horrific journey I can tell you, for me, the "seconds" have been easier. I would like to offer you that hope.
Ken and I went to our little Methodist Church on Christmas Eve. It was a beautiful, loving and gentle service filled with hope. Focusing on the true meaning of Christmas has helped me. On Christmas morning we went to my grandchildren's house to watch their little brother, David, 4 and their little sister,Adriana, 1, open their gifts. Eddie & Elaine had split up several years ago, but remained close and parented well together. These 2 children are hers with her boyfriend. He was too disinterested in his kids to go to her house to watch his kids open gifts. Its not my business so I say nothing. Anyway it was fun to see the babies enjoy their gifts. David loved Ed and still talks about him. Then the rest of us exchanged gifts and then headed to my house for breakfast.
I went to my mother to give her 100.oo for her gift since she expected it. My brother and SIL were there so she kept her complaints to a minimum. I will put some distance between us now since Christmas is over. Then Ken, Joshua(grandson) and I went to the cemetery. I has decorated Ed's stone the other day and Christmas we brought flowers and sobbed. No one that hasn't been through what we have can understand what its like to visit your child there. So as you can see Christmas was up and down, but OK. I am grateful for the good and uplifting parts.
We got a huge snowstorm here in Massachusetts, so my agency is closed! Another day off - paid! Yippee!!
Sending love and hugs to all my dear friends here. Thank you for being my support system.
Ken and I went to our little Methodist Church on Christmas Eve. It was a beautiful, loving and gentle service filled with hope. Focusing on the true meaning of Christmas has helped me. On Christmas morning we went to my grandchildren's house to watch their little brother, David, 4 and their little sister,Adriana, 1, open their gifts. Eddie & Elaine had split up several years ago, but remained close and parented well together. These 2 children are hers with her boyfriend. He was too disinterested in his kids to go to her house to watch his kids open gifts. Its not my business so I say nothing. Anyway it was fun to see the babies enjoy their gifts. David loved Ed and still talks about him. Then the rest of us exchanged gifts and then headed to my house for breakfast.
I went to my mother to give her 100.oo for her gift since she expected it. My brother and SIL were there so she kept her complaints to a minimum. I will put some distance between us now since Christmas is over. Then Ken, Joshua(grandson) and I went to the cemetery. I has decorated Ed's stone the other day and Christmas we brought flowers and sobbed. No one that hasn't been through what we have can understand what its like to visit your child there. So as you can see Christmas was up and down, but OK. I am grateful for the good and uplifting parts.
We got a huge snowstorm here in Massachusetts, so my agency is closed! Another day off - paid! Yippee!!
Sending love and hugs to all my dear friends here. Thank you for being my support system.
Replies
Hi Linda E, I\'m glad you had a more peaceful Christmas, even w/ its ups and downs. Me too. Went caroling on thursday and to Christmas eve services, mostly for the music. My rough day is the one after Christmas (yesterday) because that\'s the anniversary of Jon\'s surgery right after his diagnosis. But I got through. Glad you\'re getting a snow day. Its pretty brutal here too and the town plow hasn\'t gotten to my little road yet. I\'m thinking of you, love, Linda J
Hi Linda: I am so glad you had a peaceful Christmas. Mine was better too. I only had one meltdown - on Christmas eve. My granddaugther, Cevyn, and I had candles burning for Lisa on Christmas eve, day, and Boxing Day. It was comforting to see them and think of Lisa.
Last year was a blur. We were still in shock as Lisa died on the first of December. We went through the holiday like robots.
This year was definitely better. We ate and laughed and opened gifts, but a lot of the joy is gone.
Have a blessed New Year.
Hugs, Marlene - Lisa\'s Mum
It\'s always good to hear from you. Keep posting. This time of year is so hard for people with losses, and that seems to be most of the world after a certain age. My three children were here together for one wonderful day. Now there are still two, and two grandchildren so I\'m happy and well loved. abby
Love received sweet friend...love returned...to you. I am glad that your second was more gentle...my holidays just seem...different...every year...not worse...just different. It would have been different if Alex were here...the children are grown up and making their own way...I know it would be a different \"different\"...but different none the less...love to you sweet Linda...Karen
Dear Linda, thank you for sharing the gentle but real ups and downs of your day. We carry them in our hearts. And in a few weeks, let\'s see if we can figure out a time to meet halfway between homes. : )
Love, Sarah
Linda, this was our second without Nathan also. His birthday is January 2nd. And that awful day will be coming March 15th. I hate these months. Even thought he other months I never stop thinking about him, from November through March is a nightmare. I\'m angry again:( I wonder if Nathan\'s friend remembered him this year?! I\'m glad your holiday had some ups along with the downs. I guess mine did to. But I was to mad to accept them:( Thinking about you. Hugs, Danette
Linda, I am so glad that you were able to find peace in your holiday. You even still became the good daughter and gave mommy dearest \"her money\" I could say a few words of mothers like that, but i be nice... I know they don\'t replace your son. but I am so glad you have those wonderful grandchildren. because they help remind us the beauty of the season. and give us hope. Well that is what I have been told..No grandchildren here. just nephew and great nephews and nieces. Well stay strong and stay upbeat. I am so glad that you are smiling. Take care Tammie
Oh sweet Linda ~ So good to hear that this Christmas was easier for you. I guess it was easier for me as well, though I also had my ups and downs. Our family is working on developing new traditions and Christmas day was so much easier than last year.
Witnessing the joy and wonder through the eyes of young children is such a blessing!
Sending much love and great big snowy hugs to you and Eddie for enjoying the white post-Christmas days ~ Debbie
Glad you had a relatively peaceful Christmas. #1 for me..not so good. Did okay until slowed down...then, he\'s not there. I know you know. It\'s good to hear there\'s hope. Sending wishes for a peaceful 2011.