Green Smiley Monday
Hi everyone,
Today I am claiming as another green smiley Monday. I don't feel it so much, but I am going to claim it and hope my brain chemistry follows suit. I know there has been some research that shows evidence to that effect, so what the heck. I will give it a chance, lol!
I had my grandchildren over for dinner yesterday as we usually do. We had turkey & all the trimmings, ( that in itself was good for me, cooking is therapeutic for me). We are still not up to holidays, so we had a "i'm thankful for" day. I wrote everyone a card and we shared a little about how our induividual journeys are going. My grandchildren's boyfriend/girlfriend came and 1 of Josh's friends - his friend Tim came. Tim is a very sweet & kind young man who did not leave Josh's side last year when Eddie passed. He even came to dinner every Sunday with Josh at my house & kept him focused on football & made sure he ate a little. It was so good to see him.
Thursday we will go to the cemetary. I will clean and decorate my son's stone and I will have my usual meltdown, but that's OK. I don't think that part will ever change for me. It is what it is.
After everyone left last night both Ken and I cried, but again I think I'm at the stage in this brutal and cruel journey that I know that it is all part of the process.
Lord Jesus, help me to focus on what I have and be grateful for all the years I had with Eddie.
Hi Eddie, I miss you every minute of every day, but I'm OK. I love you for ever and always, love Mom.
Today I am claiming as another green smiley Monday. I don't feel it so much, but I am going to claim it and hope my brain chemistry follows suit. I know there has been some research that shows evidence to that effect, so what the heck. I will give it a chance, lol!
I had my grandchildren over for dinner yesterday as we usually do. We had turkey & all the trimmings, ( that in itself was good for me, cooking is therapeutic for me). We are still not up to holidays, so we had a "i'm thankful for" day. I wrote everyone a card and we shared a little about how our induividual journeys are going. My grandchildren's boyfriend/girlfriend came and 1 of Josh's friends - his friend Tim came. Tim is a very sweet & kind young man who did not leave Josh's side last year when Eddie passed. He even came to dinner every Sunday with Josh at my house & kept him focused on football & made sure he ate a little. It was so good to see him.
Thursday we will go to the cemetary. I will clean and decorate my son's stone and I will have my usual meltdown, but that's OK. I don't think that part will ever change for me. It is what it is.
After everyone left last night both Ken and I cried, but again I think I'm at the stage in this brutal and cruel journey that I know that it is all part of the process.
Lord Jesus, help me to focus on what I have and be grateful for all the years I had with Eddie.
Hi Eddie, I miss you every minute of every day, but I'm OK. I love you for ever and always, love Mom.
Replies
Kudos to you...very inspirational,,,thanks.. Nora
a lovely prayer that I, too, should focus on......I wish you the best of days...such as they are....we had wonderful gifts in our sons....thank you, Lord...love and blessings to you and Eddie...dale, brandon\'s mom
I meant the days such as they are....not our sons....i re- read it and that jumped out at me....forgive me....:)
Great thanks for the dinner with family and friends. Great thanks for each day and the lives we are living with and without those we want most to share it with. Give thanks!
I\'m sure those cards will be kept for a long, long time by your family. To read what others notice and appreciate about us is such a gift. It feels as if your time was very healing and you are doing what works for you now knowing that it can change or not in the years to come. What struck me the most about your entry is your willingness to say, \"Yes\" to what is. Gentle care to your loving heart and thank you for sharing what you decided upon this year. Missing our sons with every breath that we take and a deep knowing that they are guiding and helping us. This we must believe... With love dear friend. XO Joanie
Being grateful for the time we had... I am with you on that. I\'m glad I knew it at the time too. REmember when they were little... and it seemed like forever before they got to kindergarten... and then suddenly, all grown up! A reminder to even now treasure every day as a gift. Ohhh your green smiley musta rubbed off on me! HA!
Much love, Sarah
What a beautiful idea..thankful day...and sharing your journey...wonderful. I so admire how you are honest with your sorrow and yet yearn for the positives. After losing a child it would be so easy to never be thankful for anything...to be unable to see any good in life at all. You inspire each of us to keep trying...to see what IS good...even in the midst of the tears that will come...love to you...Karen
Love to you at this most difficult time. Thanksgivings seem the ultimate irony. And yet, we had them for some part of our lives and god knows we would never had chosen to not have had them in our lives, no matter what. So, for that we are, must be, thanksful. Much love, Linda
You are so right-the crying, the sorrow is all part of it, a part that if we hold in for too long we feel as though we are going to explode. You are doing exactly what you need to do in \"letting it out.\"For me I find if I make time during the holidays to as I put it \"deal with my grief\" by allowing myself private time to cry as much as I need that I can cope with all the family gatherings better-maybe it is a purging, I don\'t know, but it helps . I hope your Thanksgiving is as good as it can possibly be. I will be thinking of you and all the moms here. With Much Love, Charlene, Mitchells mom
I too love the idea of a \"thankful day\" and yes I agree our tears will always come. Sending you lots of love. Lynette ~ Matthews mom