Green monster

Went to a beach town last night I'd never visited.  Me and my bf saw a band he likes, I am struggling a little w/ envy/jealousy regarding his I don't know if fan is the right word, his being a fan of female artists.  I know it's my struggle, jealousy over "irrational" things like that are pretty typical for me in my past, now I get to use my spirituality and the tools of my recovery program to see a way out of this.
I'm fasting today.  I'm discouraged with my unemployment situation.  I got some confusing info from EDD, anyway I got emergency money, then my claim expired so I can't access it, and now I was told to reapply and I'm confused, but I did it.  I am receiving one more check of benefits on that last claim, after that I don't know.
My free time is mostly being spent with my bf and I am doing little to enrich my life socially otherwise, I like to isolate, home is not the healthiest place, I am not really interviewing even once in this whole few months of unemployment, I can't seem to log into the edd job listings website, it's all weird.  God be with me.  I am sober and going to meetings and I am making little dents in decluttering.
Self esteem is a big issue with me, and I know approval from someone may be a "quick fix" re the bf, but really ideally I need to do esteemable things, I need to look for work.  God please help I am rather apathetic about it.
I'm doing a little yoga and meditation each day which is good, and maintaining my spiritual readings for the most part.  Yes I am walking every day.
Supposed to go on a hike tomorrow and sort of dreading it, my days are spent too much with him and with this issue I am trying so hard to keep under wraps, the jealousy issue, I feel like it is too much for me and I need God's help.