great day with the kids.......but

well i had a great day with the kids Monday. took them shoe shopping. the lil one found him some light up avenger shoes, he had them on in the store, run past me and yelled. look daddy, i can run faster. and my girl found some sparkly, sorta high heels. we had fun, but it was only for a few hours. i have to pick them up after school and have them back in time for homework and baths.
the hardest thing i have to deal with is the time limits i have to see them. i want more than just a few hours ever so often. it hurts so bad having to say good bye and turn around and leave.  she has no problem with me seeing them. just with my current living with my parents i cant have them over all the time. not that they dont want them here.
i want my kids, every day, every night. i want to tuck them in bed and see or wake them up every morning. i want to kiss their booboos when they fall or get hurt. i want to hear them laugh and play and even scream and fight. i want to teach them and play with them. i dont want to miss a single day of their lives.
im a daddy. and nothing anybody says or anything i do can make me feel better. whats the point of trying to be happy, if i can never be happy without them? im honestly sick of the, keep your head ups, the find something to keep you busy, get a new hobby, the it takes time. my kids were my hobby, they kept me busy, they was my time. im a daddy damn it with out them....................