Great day!

I feel really good today.I have enough money to use.It is a great day! So it is night time,I start to feel time drag on.All the negative thoughts comes back.I think I have to get out of the house to escape the bordom.I start to think about my family, they are unloving, uncaring.People cannot understand me.Will I be alone all my life? If I really found someone will I feel better? Maybe I just like to be alone.I feel like taking drugs or getting drunk again.I can eat something sweet.Talking to someone does not make me feel any better.I am talking to myself again.Thinking about the same thing.