Gratituce

I survived a tough week last week.  I had three of the hardest days last week.  Wednesday I felt like giving up.  I was so tired, defeated, and discouraged.  I was Angry, afraid, and sad.  Then in the midst of the situation I got down on my knees and asked God for the strength to endure the day.  Last Wednesday, I over planned.  And the day was hot.  My husband came to my work and refereed two games of basketball.  Then the girls I teach with offered to do the leg work of our classes, and then a mom told me I was beautiful.  I don't feel beautiful most days.  I gained 20 lbs, walk all hunched over,  and gimpy.  
And then Thursday and Friday I felt good.  And Today I feel normal.  I still walk a little funny, but my energy is good.  I was told several times over the last week that someone was inspired by me.  This morning I was driving to work and got all teary eyed that God could use me and this disease.  I pray for healing.  I believe for healing.  And until the day I am free of this disease, whether in this life or the next, I will lean on God for his strength.   One verse that I like from the Bible is - Matthew 11:28.  "Come unto me, ye who are weary and overburdened, and I will give you rest" Today I am grateful for my job, family friends, and joy. 
I found a quote in a book called "Joy For The Woman's Soul"  It said....
"The present is slipping by while you are regretting the past and worrying about the future.  Regret will not prevent tomorrows sorrows; It will only rob today of its' strength."  Thanks to the woman, Barbara Johnson, for sharing this thought.  
I apply it to my circumstance.  Fear and sorrow rob me of the joy and the power of this moment.  I can't worry about what is to come, I can't feel bad for what I can no longer do, but I can find joy in what I can do right now.  I can find joy in a humble servant's heart.  I can find joy in the smile of a child.  I can find joy that despite my circumstances, I can inspire someone to never give up.  I may be shaking standing on my own 2 feet, but I can stand in the strength of the Lord.   

Replies

guysgurl
guysgurl

You are awesome! This is exactly what I am going through right now. I am trying to focus on what I can do and not what I can\'t or what I used to be able to do. It\'s something I work on everyday... and with lots of prayer :o)
deleted_user
deleted_user

Great journal entry! Hang in there. I know it is tough at times. Some days and weeks are worse than others but you have to keep being positive as it is too easy to get drug down into the negative. I also try not to think about what I used to be like and just find things to be happy about right now. I have close friends who are dying from cancer and will be leaving behind their young children and that always brings me back to reality and makes me thankful for what I have. Hang in there.