Gratitude
My thanks to the author of the post about "blessings". Definitely a big fat reminder.
I made it through November - OW's birthday, H's birthday, Thanksgiving...
Made it through 1st DDay anniversary. Made it through my birthday. Tomorrow it will be 2 years since my dad died. Next: Christmas. Then NYE. Then our anniversary. That'll be a tough one, I expect. We'll see.
I hate measuring time in such a way - using holidays, but with negative connotation. However, this is how my brain is working right now. I can't seem to change it, so all I can do is not get stuck on it. So far, even though I've had to bumblefuck my way through, I haven't completely gotten stuck. I don't think? It doesn't feel like it, at any rate.
Still trying to determine how best to cope with the lingering depression, but that I am still willing to fight the Beast means I'm already a step ahead of the game. There's a blessing.
I feel like if I can make it to March, I'll be able to breathe easier. That was the last major incident with OW when she tried to get him fired from his job. H has had to work with her since then, much to my dismay, but even that may be permanently resolved as of March. The prospects of H getting promoted are fairly high. Promotion can mean a paid move and compensation for the house if we can't sell it for what we owe.
The moving thing is still simmering and bubbling away in my brain, but I want to reserve that for its own journal post.
For now? Gratitude and lots of it. Counting one's blessings is always a valuable way to pass the time.
I made it through November - OW's birthday, H's birthday, Thanksgiving...
Made it through 1st DDay anniversary. Made it through my birthday. Tomorrow it will be 2 years since my dad died. Next: Christmas. Then NYE. Then our anniversary. That'll be a tough one, I expect. We'll see.
I hate measuring time in such a way - using holidays, but with negative connotation. However, this is how my brain is working right now. I can't seem to change it, so all I can do is not get stuck on it. So far, even though I've had to bumblefuck my way through, I haven't completely gotten stuck. I don't think? It doesn't feel like it, at any rate.
Still trying to determine how best to cope with the lingering depression, but that I am still willing to fight the Beast means I'm already a step ahead of the game. There's a blessing.
I feel like if I can make it to March, I'll be able to breathe easier. That was the last major incident with OW when she tried to get him fired from his job. H has had to work with her since then, much to my dismay, but even that may be permanently resolved as of March. The prospects of H getting promoted are fairly high. Promotion can mean a paid move and compensation for the house if we can't sell it for what we owe.
The moving thing is still simmering and bubbling away in my brain, but I want to reserve that for its own journal post.
For now? Gratitude and lots of it. Counting one's blessings is always a valuable way to pass the time.
Replies
Boy do I soooo know how you feel. It\'s weird though. I think I did better last holiday season than I\'m doing now. The first holiday saeson after dday (2 years ago) was HELL. I still don\'t understand why I\'m relapsing so much. Anyway, just take it a day at a time. Hugs.
I also mark the passage of time. My rough time is May-June. My dday is June 9th. My wedding anniversary is June 12th. The two shall forever be intertwined.
But like you said you are still fighting the beast. That is good. Having that fight in us is good.
Keep counting. Heck even if on someday all you can come up with is you are grateful someone invented cookies, find something.
I AM grateful someone invented cookies :) I hear you allura, and feel your pain. I hope you can find peace.