Grappling with BOREDOM
There are only so many times one can go around the merry-go-round, visit the same old places, do the same old job, pay the same old bills, see the same people. I'm not sure how to fix this. A new sexual relationship? A new potentially violent relationship or sport? I do like to shake myself and others up, hopefully in a positive, healthy way. Taking a vacation (wish I had the funds)?
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Sounds like you are venting from a dissatisfaction for the decisions you have made in the past. I really believe that in this life, we get to pick and choose again.
God Bless