Grandparents rights - Advocating for a new law
Grandparents rights - Advocating for a new law
For the past 3 years, we provide for the baby with love. We never asked or even considered to receive anything for this priceless work because the gratification and hope this grandchild brings is worth all rewards together. You cannot put a number to it. As the baby grows, so does our daughter's jealousy. She claims she is the daughter and we must love her more or the same. Obviously she does not understand the concept of love. We help with the baby BECAUSE we love her. If we buy something for the baby, she feels we should have done the same for her - a toy, shoes. And worse: she never wants to stay with the baby more than a couple of days. She never did in the past 3 years. When she is with the child she calls every hour to control where we are, what we are doing, and to come NOW to pick up the baby because of every excuse in the book (I need to go to school for a project due tomorrow 8 AM, they called me from work and if I am not there in the next 30 minutes they will fire me, the baby was crying and screaming and I need you to come pick her up, etc.). My husband and I have been denied to have a life together for many years. Our daughter has been in the middle, tried to put us against each other, has been abusive (emotionally and physically to me) since she became a teenager. As an adult the behavior got worse. Last year, after Thanksgiving, she got offended when I told her she should be more with the baby, more her mother, and sent me via text message, a humiliating insult. I have been called every name in the book by her, I have been stripped of all dignity by my own daughter, and I have not spoken to her since that last message. I am done. Her only connection with me is through the baby and my husband. This is how we know each other is still alive.
Because she cannot keep on breaking me directly, she has been creating situations to hurt her father. This 58-years old good man who works hard and gives his soul to anyone, who takes care of the baby selflessly, who is diabetic, has been hit in every corner by our daughter. Last week my daughter and he had an argument due to her irresponsibility and his request to get a new electronic card to enter in her condo where she lives. Since they are always in communication because of the baby, he needs the card to open the gates that protect the apartments. She didn't want to do it. He got upset. They had an argument. She took the baby, demanded her original birth certificate and social security card, On Thursday, 9/27/12, our daughter took our granddaughter from us and we have not seen her since. The baby has been taken from us and she is with God knows who and God knows where during the time our daughter goes to work and is in school.
Our daughter demands now her right to be a mother. The worst way and manner to be a mother because she ripped the baby from the only place she knows, from the only routine she has, from the only people that have been there for her every time she turns. If she would do it out of love, gradually, I would give her kudos for taking the responsibility and getting more involved. This is not what happened. She took the baby out of anger because of the argument. The day care where the baby is knows the grandparents have been the ones to bring her and pick her up since the baby was 8 months old. Rare were the moments of mother's interaction. But the law says she is the mother. She added names of others to pick up the baby from the day care and they have to hand the baby to whoever is in the list. Knowing there is an issue they will not call the grandparents if the baby shows different behavior. They will call social services. Because we, the grandparents, don't have full custody we are forced to be away to avoid even more issues for the very own baby we have tried to protect since she was born.
This is wrong. The child protection and court family laws only come to give justice after harm has occurred. THIS MUST CHANGE NOW. In the name of Grandparents who face similar stories and have seen their grandchildren suffer, I look up for justice from God and from Men. Be pro-active with help. Social Services has been proven to be a failure in the United States. Foster Care institution has killed, hurt, sexually raped enough young children. It is time to move towards a better road to protect the child and make court listen to grandparents stories and proven records of love BEFORE the harm takes place.
For the past 3 years, we provide for the baby with love. We never asked or even considered to receive anything for this priceless work because the gratification and hope this grandchild brings is worth all rewards together. You cannot put a number to it. As the baby grows, so does our daughter's jealousy. She claims she is the daughter and we must love her more or the same. Obviously she does not understand the concept of love. We help with the baby BECAUSE we love her. If we buy something for the baby, she feels we should have done the same for her - a toy, shoes. And worse: she never wants to stay with the baby more than a couple of days. She never did in the past 3 years. When she is with the child she calls every hour to control where we are, what we are doing, and to come NOW to pick up the baby because of every excuse in the book (I need to go to school for a project due tomorrow 8 AM, they called me from work and if I am not there in the next 30 minutes they will fire me, the baby was crying and screaming and I need you to come pick her up, etc.). My husband and I have been denied to have a life together for many years. Our daughter has been in the middle, tried to put us against each other, has been abusive (emotionally and physically to me) since she became a teenager. As an adult the behavior got worse. Last year, after Thanksgiving, she got offended when I told her she should be more with the baby, more her mother, and sent me via text message, a humiliating insult. I have been called every name in the book by her, I have been stripped of all dignity by my own daughter, and I have not spoken to her since that last message. I am done. Her only connection with me is through the baby and my husband. This is how we know each other is still alive.
Because she cannot keep on breaking me directly, she has been creating situations to hurt her father. This 58-years old good man who works hard and gives his soul to anyone, who takes care of the baby selflessly, who is diabetic, has been hit in every corner by our daughter. Last week my daughter and he had an argument due to her irresponsibility and his request to get a new electronic card to enter in her condo where she lives. Since they are always in communication because of the baby, he needs the card to open the gates that protect the apartments. She didn't want to do it. He got upset. They had an argument. She took the baby, demanded her original birth certificate and social security card, On Thursday, 9/27/12, our daughter took our granddaughter from us and we have not seen her since. The baby has been taken from us and she is with God knows who and God knows where during the time our daughter goes to work and is in school.
Our daughter demands now her right to be a mother. The worst way and manner to be a mother because she ripped the baby from the only place she knows, from the only routine she has, from the only people that have been there for her every time she turns. If she would do it out of love, gradually, I would give her kudos for taking the responsibility and getting more involved. This is not what happened. She took the baby out of anger because of the argument. The day care where the baby is knows the grandparents have been the ones to bring her and pick her up since the baby was 8 months old. Rare were the moments of mother's interaction. But the law says she is the mother. She added names of others to pick up the baby from the day care and they have to hand the baby to whoever is in the list. Knowing there is an issue they will not call the grandparents if the baby shows different behavior. They will call social services. Because we, the grandparents, don't have full custody we are forced to be away to avoid even more issues for the very own baby we have tried to protect since she was born.
This is wrong. The child protection and court family laws only come to give justice after harm has occurred. THIS MUST CHANGE NOW. In the name of Grandparents who face similar stories and have seen their grandchildren suffer, I look up for justice from God and from Men. Be pro-active with help. Social Services has been proven to be a failure in the United States. Foster Care institution has killed, hurt, sexually raped enough young children. It is time to move towards a better road to protect the child and make court listen to grandparents stories and proven records of love BEFORE the harm takes place.
Replies
This is a nightmare. I have followed the love you have poured on this child. What your daughter is doing is not right.
I sent you an email outlining what I thought possible responses to this situation could be.
Have you seen your grandchild at all?
I am so sorry your daughter is doing this to you. A very similar thing happened to a friend of mine whose daughter and granddaughter actually lived with him for a while, and because of her extreme jealousy of anyone\'s love for her daughter she has totally cut ties with her father and sisters.
It is a very sad sick warped person who can behave in such a way, because not only do they do harm to the people who love the child, they deprive the child of that love.
I am so sorry you are going through this.