Granddaughters Leg Amputation

Yesterday was my granddaughter’s leg amputation.  I got up at 5 AM, to leave by 5:30 AM to get there in time.  But you know how it is – wait & wait & wait & wait.  Just lots of waiting but it really wasn’t too bad.   My therapist did call me Monday and we talked about 15-20 minutes.  She’s usually very short on the phone but this time gave me all the time I needed.  That was very nice.  I told her I need to be strong for everyone and I don’t want to get in the middle of a conflict going on between the two families (his ex).  She said, no I didn’t need to do that.  She said I need to be there for my granddaughter and her Dad.  She did a little to prepare me if something major should go wrong but thank goodness everything is OK – so far.   I’m always afraid to be somewhere for a long period of time because of needing to go the bathroom a lot, someone noticing and the possibility of having an accident.  She told me to steak out a bathroom for me to use when I get there and know where it is and use it when I need to.  And, to take lots of walks when I need to and go then, too.  That’s exactly what I did and I was perfectly, perfectly fine.  Yeah!  I even drank!   I was concerned that she might throw up from the pain medicine and she said that was unlikely because she wouldn’t have anything in her stomach.  Well … she did 2X.  I was able to turn away and not see much.  I saw her gagging, not anything coming out but I did see it in the “basin”.  Luckily it was just clear – Sprite or whatever.  I think I did OK but I was able to turn away and I knew she wasn’t sick.  Nothing to possibly catch.  Some exposure therapy there but we need to work more on that.     My granddaughter’s Mom (daughter’s boyfriend’s ex) did say something to me that offended me.  It had to do with many, many months ago asking questions to the doctor about her disease which I knew nothing about.  You need to ask questions to learn!  So, I didn’t argue with her but I sure did defend myself.  I’ve always gotten along fine with her but after this – I do not like her very much anymore.  And, they are right about her attitude- it stinks on lots of things.  I didn’t see it first hand until now.  Maybe it was “power in numbers” because she had lots of her family there to “back her up” if she needed it.  In the past it was just her.    They were able to cut the leg off below the knee.  But, what I didn’t know is there are 2 infections – one above the cut, one below the cut.  They only got one.  So, besides the stump having to heal she still has a major infection to heal.  I just hope they won’t have to go in again and cut more of the leg off.  She’s in a body cast, can’t move around, is very uncomfortable and really crabby.  But, I can’t say I blame her.  She was so mean to my little grandson he hid beneath the sink and cried.  My daughter explained to him it’s the medicine that’s making her say things like this and act like this.   Please continue to pray for her.    Some of my friends called me to ask how everything went.  One did not – who suddenly out of the blue – has been acting very strange with me anyway.  In the past she called me for every problem she had.  I listened and listened.  I offered advice and was very helpful to her.  Now, she has stopped, doesn’t call and kind of avoids talking to me – talking to others.  I have no idea what I did if I even did anything in the first place.  Really weird.  So, I’m trying to ignore it.  But she was the only one who didn’t call yesterday so now I know something’s going on.  I sure wish she’d get out of this whatever she’s in because she is one that I’m going on a ‘girl trip’ with in May.  No one – especially me – wants conflicts!   My cousin called me today and left a message – I wasn’t home.  She said her 25 year old daughter, who has Bi Polar was in the hospital a few days ago.  And, her husband had to go in the hospital in the middle of the night last night – something with his heart.  I’ve been trying to reach her at home and her cell and can’t get her.  She sounded very stressed.  I offered whatever I can.  I’m worried now because we are going out of town for Spring Break Sat – Tuesday.  I didn’t tell her before because we have other family where we are going and we haven’t decided if we are going to contact or not because we’re afraid we won’t have time to visit.  Now I may have to let the cat out of the bag.   Still hadn’t heard from my cousin so I called the hospital and he was released at 6:10AM this morning.  I have no idea where they are or what’s going on.  She made it sound so horrible.  So, I’m tired of calling and will just have to wait until she calls me.  Probably late tonight when I’m ready to go to bed or tomorrow when I have to leave or can’t talk.  Oh, well.   Tomorrow I go to my therapist and we will do another exposure therapy with my bladder problem having to do with my upcoming trip.  I’m kind of scared anticipating it.  I tell her I’m doing better and can wait longer but when we do these things it seems like I can’t wait very long at all.  We plan to go next door to a store/restaurant where there are “real” people around which always makes it scarier than just being with her.  But in life there are real people around so that’s how I have to do these, experiment and practice.  She’s so nice to go with me and help me with this.  She is.  I do wish we had more time to do things before this trip.  I don’t feel prepared enough.  We have more time before my next trip.  But I do need a rest, a break, for a while inbetween.