Graduation
I had my Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) graduation yesterday. I now have one unit of CPE. It felt strange not going in to the hospital today. I am writing on here because I know people here will understand what it is like to have people ask you, "So, what's next for you?" And, then responding with, "I don't know."
To be fair, nobody knows what their future holds. Yet, there are those who can plan and have a pretty good chance of living out whatever it is they have planned. There were four people in my graduating group and each one of the others has a plan. My plan is to live the best I can.
One very kind and well meaning individual spoke to me after graduation and asked me more pointedly what I was going to do. I explained that I had a chronic illness and wasn't sure what I would be able to do, but that I was hoping to find something part-time that I could manage. He said something about having a chronic illness and that you have to keep living and he has cancer...
Okay, I admit, I continued to listen but my mind kind of checked out a little bit. It was one of those times when I thought, "Good for you. But I am not you." I tried to explain something about trying to push the boundaries of my limitations back a little bit at a time to see how much I could do and then maybe push a little bit more, but I could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn't comprehend what I was trying to say, so I stopped talking and just let him give me his advice.
I am always reminding myself to not compare myself with other people. I don't know what his life is like, but I wish he hadn't compared his to mine. I also met a nice woman at the hospital with rheumatoid arthritis who works long hours and is on a clinical trial for meds, etc. I look at her and wonder if I could work longer if I just tried....
But you see, it doesn't work to compare ourselves to anyone else's life, or their illnesses, or what any of us can or cannot do.
Well, I didn't plan to talk about that. I was going to talk about my graduation. Maybe next time. haha It was a nice day and I had a wonderful experience. The conversation I describe above was a very small part of my day.
carry on,
katy
To be fair, nobody knows what their future holds. Yet, there are those who can plan and have a pretty good chance of living out whatever it is they have planned. There were four people in my graduating group and each one of the others has a plan. My plan is to live the best I can.
One very kind and well meaning individual spoke to me after graduation and asked me more pointedly what I was going to do. I explained that I had a chronic illness and wasn't sure what I would be able to do, but that I was hoping to find something part-time that I could manage. He said something about having a chronic illness and that you have to keep living and he has cancer...
Okay, I admit, I continued to listen but my mind kind of checked out a little bit. It was one of those times when I thought, "Good for you. But I am not you." I tried to explain something about trying to push the boundaries of my limitations back a little bit at a time to see how much I could do and then maybe push a little bit more, but I could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn't comprehend what I was trying to say, so I stopped talking and just let him give me his advice.
I am always reminding myself to not compare myself with other people. I don't know what his life is like, but I wish he hadn't compared his to mine. I also met a nice woman at the hospital with rheumatoid arthritis who works long hours and is on a clinical trial for meds, etc. I look at her and wonder if I could work longer if I just tried....
But you see, it doesn't work to compare ourselves to anyone else's life, or their illnesses, or what any of us can or cannot do.
Well, I didn't plan to talk about that. I was going to talk about my graduation. Maybe next time. haha It was a nice day and I had a wonderful experience. The conversation I describe above was a very small part of my day.
carry on,
katy
Replies