Grad parties

It wasn't as difficult as I had thought - attending grad parties.  T was going to show up at some of them with us but didn't.  I imagine it bothers him.  It doesn't bother me as it once did.  And the reason?  Priorities!  T is clean and appears to be making good choices.  This is what I've prayed for and I am so grateful.  I believe he has to be clean for an extended period of time (healing his brain) to move on to the next step.  And when he is ready and wants to - he can pursue his life's path.   I'm meeting with our pastor tomorrow morning before I go and teach my class.  I'm going to show him my program and can't wait!  I still am not finished with it but I'm getting there.  The changes, although they were minor, made by the drug counselor were enough to affect the whole presentation.  And I still have to have the "bells and whistles" added.  Looking forward to seeing the finished product.   I sent a letter, over a week ago, to the D.A.R.E. Officer (after meeting with him) and asked him to contact me after he reads it.  I am not asking for much regarding his program.  I just need to tie the two programs together in a very subtle way.  All I asked is that he send the information the children are learning to their homes, rather than their backpacks - to make sure the parents see it.  I also asked him to give some reminders and communication tips to the parents on how to talk to their children about drugs.  At our last meeting he seemed a bit put off and shot down every suggestion I made.  It was obvious he had no interest in it.  I'm not going to let it go, however.  One of his objections to sending info. home in the mail was the cost of postage.  Well - he lost that argument on two counts - ONE:  I commented in the letter (or should I say congratulated him) to him that I read in the paper that D.A.R.E. was awarded a large sum of money funded by a grant in our area.  Our town was included.  And TWO:  The Principal said he would take care of the cost if D.A.R.E. can't do it.  ** I also found a study, since sending the letter, about the decline in communication, in recent years, between parent and child regarding drugs.  I won't let this go.  Funny, what I'm asking him isn't any big deal but I can only think of a few reasons as to why he's resisting.  ONE: He's new at this and he's young.  TWO:  His ego.  Why would he listen to a parent like me?  There was a bit of arrogance in the "air" when I talked to him.  I am not intimated at all by that attitude!  LOL! Oh - I mentioned the grad parties and I tell you - talk about arrogance.  There was one person at the party (of of a clique') that we've known for years (never became friends, however) but have a reputation of shunning families if their child acquires a bad reputation.  I know I've heard from other families about them.  Not being invited to their high achiever, Principal's pet, child's grad parties, ignored - etc.  My middle son commented, recently, that the woman I saw at this party doesn't say hi after he does her.  My son is a very good kid. Sure he got into trouble his Senior year of high school (nothing malicious) and ever since then she's shunned him.  Why am I commenting on this?  Although I have no interest in being a part of this "holy than thou" person who thinks her "___  " doesn't smell, I cannot imagine doing that to someone.  We've know this person for years - my middle son was on her son's soccer team for years!  I met with a lovely woman for a few hours, over coffee, and since her son got into trouble (he's chemically dependent, too) she cried and told me how upset she is that both her and her son are ostracized by this same group.  I told her to try and not let it bother her because why would you want to be friends with people who treat others like this?  It's easier for me to say this because I don't have to deal with them anymore.  T is out of that school.  But her son is still there.  This is one of the reasons I'm doing this program - to educated ignorant people on this stigma of this disease.  I hope it makes an impact.  

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I am not a fan of DARE, no real documentation that it does any good....I think that I would rather see PAL appropriately funded or big brother, big sister.....

I would think that there are \"appropriate channels\" in the PD and perhaps this is an issue; he doesn\'t really know you or the materials; may view it as being competition rather than complimentary; funding has most likely already been tagged for something and is not available for postage; etc etc.

Consider approaching him again, invite him to a presentation and/or committee meeting with all involved. Or ask him about how these things are handled internally, is there a protocol for getting info cleared and so on.....To sum, try to build a relationship and even if the program is rejected, continue to keep him and the relevant \"others\" in the loop on updates to materials and meetings.

GREAT WORK!! Take Care!!
deleted_user
deleted_user

thanks for sharing this. During my daughter\'s 8th grade graduation from the Catholic school that my son got kicked out of, I encountered the same type of people and it was painful, but it\'s true that for those of us that don\'t get to experience a Norman Rockwell life, we experience the road less travelled. It hurts a little but in the end we are better people because of it. You have helped me a great deal, and maybe without these painful experiences that wouldn\'t have been possible. Thanks for being there.