Gotta wait another month....
So yesterday was our 9th wedding anniversary. To which I spent most of the day weeping. Why? Because I thought about all the hopes and dreams going through my head when our wedding day arrived. How excited I felt, how in love I was (and still am) with my husband to be. I felt like an actual adult. I lived alone, had a good job, had responsibilities. This "marriage" really made me feel as if I had "arrived" into adulthood. I was on track with the milestones I wanted in life.
I got married and had a fabulous honeymoon and went on to have the worst 10 months of my life living in Madrid. I knew I was going to leave my husband in 6 weeks. Then my father died in July and I flew back for his funeral...alone. In death he gave me the best gift. He gave me the gift of distance because I could not stay another minute in that horrible apartment with my then oblivious husband who made me feel as if I did not matter or exist.
Ok, so enough of that. I was at my client's home preparing wonderful meals (12 dishes to be exact) when I received a call from my RE. My donor has a cyst on her ovary and they do not think giving her stims would render the best results for optimal eggs this month. So I have to stop my Lupron and my estrace pills. I was kinda blindsided by this. I immediately thought that this set back is just a set up for something amazing and great that HE has in store for us. Although, I'm so tired of the waiting.
What about the Lupron? Will I have enough, or do I need to order more?
I'm sad but I have to have faith. When is this baby going to come?
What else do I need to do? I keep thinking that I have to do something before God gives me the green light. I just don't know what it is.
Of course my mother does not know about this, nor my brothers. Can't deal with the canned responses.
*sigh*
I got married and had a fabulous honeymoon and went on to have the worst 10 months of my life living in Madrid. I knew I was going to leave my husband in 6 weeks. Then my father died in July and I flew back for his funeral...alone. In death he gave me the best gift. He gave me the gift of distance because I could not stay another minute in that horrible apartment with my then oblivious husband who made me feel as if I did not matter or exist.
Ok, so enough of that. I was at my client's home preparing wonderful meals (12 dishes to be exact) when I received a call from my RE. My donor has a cyst on her ovary and they do not think giving her stims would render the best results for optimal eggs this month. So I have to stop my Lupron and my estrace pills. I was kinda blindsided by this. I immediately thought that this set back is just a set up for something amazing and great that HE has in store for us. Although, I'm so tired of the waiting.
What about the Lupron? Will I have enough, or do I need to order more?
I'm sad but I have to have faith. When is this baby going to come?
What else do I need to do? I keep thinking that I have to do something before God gives me the green light. I just don't know what it is.
Of course my mother does not know about this, nor my brothers. Can't deal with the canned responses.
*sigh*
Replies
A cyst on the ovary is easy to fix. Hopefully it would only mean a delay of one cycle. I know it hurts and waiting even a month feels like an eternity...but if it yields a happy and healthy baby in the end, it\'ll all be worth it. Good luck to you hun!