Got me thinking

 
I am reading a book by a Christian Author. Its a different kind of book than I am use to and has made me really start thinking. Its basically about the fight for each of us that no one sees. We are here on earth living our life and making our decisions but there is a whole other world that we dont see where there is a spiritual battle being waged against us. We all have our guardian angles but we are constantly being attacked by the enemy. He has warriors that only mission is to sway us from the truth of God. When I look back on my life I can clearly see that. At the time i didnt think it or even have an understanding of this concept. When i lost my son about 8 years ago to trisomy 18 late in my 2nd trimester I was walking closer to the Lord than I even had in my life. I was far from perfect (and still am) but i was in a good place.  After losing my son I left the lord. I blamed him and went so off where i should be. It took years to finally get back to him. During those time i was living a horrible sinful life. Reflecting back on that I can see the enemy cheering the whole time. All it took was one traumatic experience and they won. Thinking and reflecting on these things leads me to the conclusion that its the enemy that is trying to hurt us. How many times have we asked Why God? Why me? Why not me? How many times have we questioned God's plan weather we realize we where doing it or not? God IS NOT the creature of doubt. The Devil is!!! The devil knows the desires of our hearts and he uses that against us. Reading this book is helping me realize i need to seek GOD in EVERYTHING!!! Every decision. No matter how big or small we think it is because god has a bigger plan for us. I personally get ticked of and am ashamed when i think about my past and how much celebration went on, on the dark side on my behalf. I am a warrior of GOD!!!! I am his child. He loves me and has made the ultimate sacrifice so that my slate can be wiped clean and i can have a 2nd (or 100055th chance). I don’t want the devil celebrating on my behalf anymore. I will work to constantly seek the lord in all I do. I want his warriors surrounding me casting of the enemy.
 

  That being said I think I need to take a step back and really pray about this endeavor I am about to embark on with the IF train. Is this what God has planned for me? Will it bring him Glory? Only after I go to him and ask for direction can I have peace that its what I am suppose to do verses what I want to do.
 

  Just take a second to think about it. What if there is another level where there is a battle for us. Where our Heavenly father has sent his strongest warrior to protect us and gently guide us. For every doubt we think and prayer that goes unspoken a  sword is being plunged into our faithful guardian that was picked out just for us. Our guardian is only as strong as we let him be. The more we walk with the Lord the more we will be protected. Not to say that life will be easy sailing but we can make it harder on the enemy than he can make it on us.