Good stuff and bad stuff

Halloween marked my partner's one-year anniversary of being completely sober. I'm incredibly proud of him (so is most of his family), and I have to say I'm pretty surprised he made it. Even when he became real stressed with work, he found ways to relax and blow off steam. His drinking was going to put a end to our relationship, and now he wants us to exchange rings and tie the knot gay-wise with a little ceremony. It's strange how I was looking forward to this day until it was staring me in the face. Uncertainty is holding me back and I hate the feeling and I don't feel I'm being fair to him at all. I don't want to be with anyone else, so what's holding me back? I've been married once and I put a tremendous amount of emotional energy and faith into it. Thought it was really "forever" and all of that.My son admitted taking drugs to me a few months ago. Promised to quit and got caught by his mom with a rather attractive bong (not as nice as mine used to be) in her back yard. Being caught red-handed, it was hard for him to explain his way out of it. She called me, I went over, we talked to him, he gave us a blank stare, and then told us everything we wanted to hear. We took away his skating privileges until he tested clean which made him very angry to our delight. But then he told me later that the only reason he's quitting temporarily is so that he could skate.Started thinking about it and realized he seemed to have extra cash around from time to time. So far he's lost 3 iPods (stolen he says), his bike, and a couple of old skateboards. My iPod was "stolen" yesterday and I was sure he was paying back people he owed money to. I was furious with him and he swore it was actually stolen. I just feel like I can't trust him at all right now which really hurts.He had a private hour-long talk with my partner last night and told him everything he thought he wanted to hear as well. Although he said that he had been saving allowances and lunch money to buy weed and ecstasy to sell at school.WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LITTLE GUY I LOVED SO MUCH?!! The emotional pain is incredible right now. I'm trying to stay strong but been so hard.