Good in the Hood

Last 2 nights were a bit tricky as they were the nights we would have spent together when we were together. I felt at a loose end but I went to see a friend and enjoyed it genuinely. Kept getting little stabs of memories. But kept batting each one of those memories back with actual memories of how he hurt me, humiliated me, was pathetic, didn't care, was abusive, lied, acted like he had cheated, ad infinitum. And I felt better because he can never hurt me again. Those memories will fade. Yes they hurt, but they'll be replaced by actual love which I demand no less than from here on in. No, "maybe just this one time I'll let it slip" self-lies. Proof of the pudding? There are some ex-guys I cried over that I now struggle to remember their SURNAMES from not so many years ago. My time on this earth has been painful. I'm determined that the rest will be on my terms, meeting someone halfway if they demonstrate they will love me, or not at all. And you know what? I'm the best self-company there is. Heck, most guys I know would be LUCKY to be in my company, no arrogance allowed. Why would I want a low-life, pond-scummy, pathetic  cheater sucking my happiness daily? The future's bright and orangie :)