Good improvement today

Today isn't a bad day.  I am up to 100 mg on the Seroquel and it seems that it is making its effect.  I feel so light today and a little buzzed and I feel very relaxed.  I don't think it would be a good thing to drive.
For some reason I still feel that the suicidal thoughts are going to come back after the seroquel finishes its effect.  I feel so broken hearted that I am not sure what will improve my mood.  Is getting another father figure going to improve my mood?  That is a very big possibility.  Where will I find another father figure for me?  I have no idea.  My uncle was always a father figure for me and sometimes I call him dad by mistake, but my uncle is having difficulties now with his mood and his drinking.  He needs help right now and I don't know how he can be a father figure for me.  I feel sad.  I am 26 am I too old to have a father figure?  I am not sure.  My father broke my heart and I cannot get over it.  Living at home isn't helping much either because seeing him treat my mom so badly makes me angry and triggers me.  Is it even possible that I will feel better in the future and not feel these suicidal thougths?  I am not sure.  I am sure that in the abscence of my dad my mom loves me to no end.  And that is very beautiful and amazing and really helps me. Sometimes she loves him and it shows, sadly there is 0 reciprocation from my dad.  Zero.  It is so sad to watch.  I want that my mom be happy so I can be happy.  I hope that she is finding what she wants in my dad other than the customary feeling that she is his wife and so he owes her money so she can spend.  I don't think she finds validation from my dad at all.  It is sad and difficult.  So I need my mom and I need a father figure.  My dad isn't able to provide that for me.  I feel that I am left hanging without my dad seeing me off as an adult mature person who he can be proud of.  Is it possible that that is achieved by another person?