Good-Bye Movies!!
From: Frequently Asked Questions For the Betrayed Spouse on survivinginfidelity.com
I knew where it had happened really, really well. I made the most realistic movies imaginable. I used to watch them in my mind for hours until I felt physically sick and couldn't breathe. ( I didn't know where it happened in my situation but I knew the OP. She had been to my house, she had talked to me. I had hugged her. I had known her for years So mind movies were a daily occurrence with me!) Ultimately, one day, I just got totally pissed off with it. I got angry. I thought about who was hurting because of these damn movies- and realized there was only one person. ME. My partner wasn't. The OW wasn't. I was t here, on my own and putting myself through agonizing torture. That day, I decided NOT to do it anymore. As soon as the next showing began, I essentially got up out of my seat, binned my popcorn and left the theatre . I did this by quickly DOING something. Anything. but usually one on this list: Calling a friend. Eating chocolate. Having a bubble bath. Watching a movie. Going to the gym. Going to see a friend. Drinking hot chocolate. Writing a letter. Posting on here. (Add your own items, I gardened, went walking, posted on SI a lot, went to work, worked on crafts, called my friends, called my friends, called my friends!) BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT SPECIAL AND AMAZING ADDED INGREDIENT IS THIS: I thought about the most recent time I had felt happy with my partner. I thought about the latest laugh we had had. The most recent thing he had said to me that had made me feel warm and fuzzy. And I reminded myself that THAT was my reality. The here and now. The past is dead. It cannot hurt me unless I let it. The present is good - tough at times- but good....and I HUNG ON to my special happy thought like crazy !!!!!! I know it sounds lame- and I'm sorry it's not a magic spell or mantra or something a little more impressive - but if you do these things...you will be amazed at the effect they can have. You will be amazed at the power of the human mind. (Other things to think about might be your children laughing, a place that you love, something you loved as a child, something you loved doing with your parents or grandparents. .Find something that makes you smile and keep it on hand when you need to replace one image with another.) We are beautiful creatures. We are in control of out thoughts. We can get through this. We WILL. (Snowflower is right...Your mind is a wonderful thing...It can conquer your worst moments if you are prepared for the movies...)
I knew where it had happened really, really well. I made the most realistic movies imaginable. I used to watch them in my mind for hours until I felt physically sick and couldn't breathe. ( I didn't know where it happened in my situation but I knew the OP. She had been to my house, she had talked to me. I had hugged her. I had known her for years So mind movies were a daily occurrence with me!) Ultimately, one day, I just got totally pissed off with it. I got angry. I thought about who was hurting because of these damn movies- and realized there was only one person. ME. My partner wasn't. The OW wasn't. I was t here, on my own and putting myself through agonizing torture. That day, I decided NOT to do it anymore. As soon as the next showing began, I essentially got up out of my seat, binned my popcorn and left the theatre . I did this by quickly DOING something. Anything. but usually one on this list: Calling a friend. Eating chocolate. Having a bubble bath. Watching a movie. Going to the gym. Going to see a friend. Drinking hot chocolate. Writing a letter. Posting on here. (Add your own items, I gardened, went walking, posted on SI a lot, went to work, worked on crafts, called my friends, called my friends, called my friends!) BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT SPECIAL AND AMAZING ADDED INGREDIENT IS THIS: I thought about the most recent time I had felt happy with my partner. I thought about the latest laugh we had had. The most recent thing he had said to me that had made me feel warm and fuzzy. And I reminded myself that THAT was my reality. The here and now. The past is dead. It cannot hurt me unless I let it. The present is good - tough at times- but good....and I HUNG ON to my special happy thought like crazy !!!!!! I know it sounds lame- and I'm sorry it's not a magic spell or mantra or something a little more impressive - but if you do these things...you will be amazed at the effect they can have. You will be amazed at the power of the human mind. (Other things to think about might be your children laughing, a place that you love, something you loved as a child, something you loved doing with your parents or grandparents. .Find something that makes you smile and keep it on hand when you need to replace one image with another.) We are beautiful creatures. We are in control of out thoughts. We can get through this. We WILL. (Snowflower is right...Your mind is a wonderful thing...It can conquer your worst moments if you are prepared for the movies...)
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