Good and Bad News
My fiance has been suffering alot this past week with back pain and panic attacks. I feel so helpless. Idk what to do for him except be there and try to understand.
The good news is he got x-rays done Wednesday and is seeing a chiropractor every Friday. I also went with him yesterday to a doc. He broke down sobbing and had a panic attack right there in front of the doctor just from trying to explain what happened at work Thursday, when he had an attack and had to leave work.
The doctor gave him a muscle relaxer and a steroid for his back. She also gave him something temporary for anxiety and referred him to a psychiatrist. All good news. He was feeling better after taking meds and hopeful about the psychiatrist.
Bad news is this morning it was time for him to start his steroid. He had a reaction to it and started throwing up really bad. This of course triggered a panic attack, and then another one. And he missed work again. He doesn't have many more days he can miss. He is worried about getting fired or people at work thinking badly of him. Lots of his co-workers have been calling to check on him so I don't think he should worry so much.
I'm just so worried about him idk what to do. Idk how to help or fix this. He says this happens about every 2 years or so. He gets really bad anxiety and attacks. He said he has lost jobs because of it before and been in psychology wards.
We have only been together about 2 years so this hasn't happened before since I've known him. I just want us to get ahead of this and get him well. I can't stand to see him suffer like this! It's affecting me really bad too.
Replies
Ghost, it's a very difficult situation I'm sure of it. Please know you MUST also take care of yourself. I'm not at all suggesting anything more than you alone can not handle all on your shoulders. I know from reading that you also have some health struggles. Sending good thoughts and prayers for healing and peace.
Fiance found a way to take meds without getting sick. Still waiting for psychiatrist to call and setup appointment. I hope he goes, gets right meds, and starts seeing a counselor. He is so afraid to open up because he thinks it makes him look weak. Yeah yeah he is a man I get it. But he doesn't even talk to me much about his past. All he says is his childhood was awful and he was exposed to things he should not have been. He says the past belongs in the past and he doesn't want to burden me with it. I'm fine with that. I've met his parents. They're shit. I know his exes cheated on him with other women. I really don't want to know more than that. But I think he should talk to somebody so he can process stuff. Bottling up his feelings is putting too much stress on him.
Just have to wait and see.
I have an appt next week with my doc, I hope to get blood work done to check my thyroid. I just want everybody in my household to get well.
My fiance finally got an appointment with a psychiatrist. He said it went well. He got put on 2 meds and he can't drink with them or he get sick. He says he told the psychiatrist he wants to stop smoking weed so she is going to drug test him periodically. I feel very relieved and less drained. He is finally trying to look after his own business and be more responsible. I feel a little more like myself. Like I can do things I actually want to do and not worry as much about money because he isn't spending it all on drugs every time I turn around. I hope he stays on track and isn't resentful to me. I feel like things will get better.
I haven't seen him much lately and we haven't spent any time together so idk how he is doing on the meds other than he seems sleepy when he gets home, but his eyes look more normal.
His brother overdosed on heroin over the weekend so he had to go there and to the hospital and take care of some stuff. He was gone all weekend. I'm not sure what effect, if any this had on him. I mean his brother didn't die. He had been an addict for years. I hope it empowered my fiance to rise above this and not drag him down.
Not sure what is going on with my man but I'm surprisingly detached. Not worrying. I don't feel like we love each other or care. I'm very lonely and he is acting strange. It's annoying. I wish he would call his psychiatrist.
I hope I'm not in danger but he has been talking really crazy today. I'm brushing it off as him pouting like a child. He has been cranky all day. He said he doesn't want to talk.
That's fine because I don't feel like coddling him.
He had been talking of moving out. That's good. He never should have moved here to begin with.
I think he wants to break up with me. He was at his brothers all weekend. I honestly really enjoyed him not being here. I didn't feel so drained. I didn't hate myself so much. I was able to relax and rest.
I feel like it's been a long time coming and will happen soon. I just hope I don't have to worry about being in danger. I'm sure I've been worse off before.
I hope he leaves.
He left because he was acting psycho and I made him leave. He came back yesterday morning with no warning and just walked in like everything was fine. He apologized to my mom and me and said he called his psychiatrist. He said it's just the meds are not right. I think he was having withdrawals from not smoking weed. He obviously got some while he was gone because I smelled it and he acted better.
I still feel like shit. I had to miss work yesterday because I was so sick at my stomach from crying and fighting. Idk what is going to happen from here. Just take one day at a time I guess.
I called my doc yesterday and ask if she could please call me in something to ease my suffering with this cortisol problem. I told them I'm experiencing extreme depression and can't emotionally handle anything. My appointment with the specialist isn't until the end of October. I hope my doc calls back today. I just want to feel normal and be happy.