Gone
BBS missed the first plane yesterday due to my inability to find the airport in the chaos of the metroplex construction. Yet another reminder of why I so want to leave the Boom State to the Boom Folk. Natives are the smallest minority in the Lone Star State, in all of its ethnic divisions. The newcomers seem to like asphalt and concrete far better than I care to even know about. I amnae ignorant. I'm ignoring you by design. I am igNORant. Your preferences arenae yours to sort.
Missing the plane launched me into an obsessive drive to find the route which would make our next attempt to connect less painful. BBS had other plans, but her gentle expression of that plan wasnae penetrating my hyper-active psychosis. That happens to me allot. When she finally got through my manic fissures, her plan was executed with sublime simplicity. I'm kinda proud of myself for being able to jump straight to making amends instead of defending the handicap which caused it. I get mean and irrational when I am defending my handicaps.
This morning finds me lethargic and apathetic. Alone and lonely.
Come back, Best Beloved Sis!!!
Replies
Good morning Arfie. I am sorry the visit has ended, but is there ever enough time with those we love? I am pretty non vocal here and in real life. But surely tested by the circumstances of the lives around me. Today an unplanned road trip with the SIL, who I still have to try to see the gold in. 2 hours in an enclosed car will be cagey.
Hugs J.
I like to listen to audio books for those cagey drives. Hope you feel free to vent about it after its over.
I'm shooting to feel the privilege of having a love so intense enough for the loss to hurt this much, but. . .
Maybe tomorrow. . .
Hi arfie, Damn I hate the end of visits. Getting lost the first time, if I was you, would have been another Freudian slip to extend the visit lol. Often I find the immediate crash after they go to be rather enhancing to my MH symptoms so I try to stay intellectually busy as opposed to physically busy to block the mental processes. I’m really happy for you that you had a good visit with her. Triple hugs