Going to Bed

I am going to be going to bed soon and this is one thing that is really hard for me. I just broke up with my boyfriend that I've been with for 3 years and am so used to sleeping with him that going to bed alone is really horrible for me. I always start getting anxious about it at around 8 and go to bed at 10:30 to 11. I feel desperate for someone. I will start texting Chris (my ex) and begging him to come over. I offer to go get him or buy him dinner or something. I know He's exploiting my feelings so he can get me to do stuff like this but I can't help it. I just get so desperate and when he tells me no I feel so unloved and uncared for that I start crying and can't stop. Then the later it gets the more worked up I get because I have to be up early for work, and if I don't get any sleep then I'll be tired, then I wont be my best at work and then everyone will think I'm lazy and don't do anything. I feel scared because I'm the only one awake, everyone I know is in bed and I'm the only one that can't go to sleep and I can't text or talk to anyone to help me because they're all in bed. I know there are lots and lots of people who are still awake but no one I can talk to no one I know. I get a very small comfort from the fact that I can hear my upstairs neighbor in my apartment walking around but even that is a small comfort that only works if I'm in a good place. I've never lived alone before so I feel very lonely. And I feel just horrible not having a boyfriend. I know I don't need to have a boyfriend to be happy but that's the way it feels right now. I was home schooled almost my whole life and since I was 13 I've desperately wanted a boyfriend and when I finally got one it was great! I haven't been single since I was 18. I am 22. I just find it very hard. Anyways, sorry this was so long it just all sort of came out... Well I don't know... I guess I'll try to go to bed now...