going through all the 1st

Well so far since DH has been gone, I have went through my first mothers day, fathers day, my B-day and our anniversary this past monday.  I see that i have made it through them, not always without tears but I made it.  So now I come onChristmas which was his Fav holiday and even more since having Aubrey.  I pray everynight to God that he gives me strength and also ask DH for his strength 2 get me through this.  Aubrey makes gives me so much hope but U still have that hurt that is so deep it takes your breath away.  I wake up with new fears for are future as I am the one who has to be responsible for making sure all goes well, what will happen if something happens 2 me how can we make it on my income alone.  Well I ever be at peace?  Questions that no one can answer I understand but worries I have.  I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and ask you all to please keep us in your prayers as they do help.    Love Michelle