Going on working vacation
Sept 16th I leave for Ct for four days. It's a working vacation. I'll be meeting clients I've worked with for almost ten years, yet never met in person. One of the clients Joe is getting married and invited me to the wedding. Joe is a special client, he reminds me of my older brother, yet he's the same age as my adult kids.
Husband will be taking on the load of the three GC. He's going to ask my daughter to come over and assist with the kids, which upsets me because he said, we need to tough love her on her weed use and set boundres for visistation about three weeks ago. Now I'm leaving and he wants to pull the boundres away for assistance....This puts me as the inforcer again. I'm not going to let it upset me, I'm going to get much needed sleep and much needed adult time for a few days next week!
I read advise given about choices on raising the kids. As much as I would love to make a choice ,the courts will be pulling the baby from me in Nov for adoption if mom doesn't come clean for weed. Stupid AZ law! My thought process has been how can I continue with the other two kids? I'm going to be a emotional basket case after raising him since birth, he'll be 10mths in Nov. when and if the courts rip him out of my life forever.
I keep thinking you must go on, but you know what, my emotional health status is good today, most days I cry all day until the girls are getting home from school and then I pull myself together for them. I have blood vessles in my face that have broken due to crying so much!This isn't living this is beating myself up!
I called my oldest GD mom and told her 6 years is enough. I will be filing for my gaudianship to be removed. I will ask the courts to look into her CPS case and make their decision for reuniting the family, if the courts feel it is not in her best interest then she'll have to go into a foster home. Nov if my daughter doesn't get her children back due to her weed use. Again Zac will go up for adoption per the courts last month and his sister will need to go into a foster home.
This is a no win situation. The only win I can see is my GC will not have to see or be with me when I break down. I want them to remember me as strong but loving. The two girls should remember and when they get into women hood and have children of their own, I hope some of the values I have tried to give them will shine. As for my GS, he's too young and I know he will not remember me... I'll always remember him.
Husband will be taking on the load of the three GC. He's going to ask my daughter to come over and assist with the kids, which upsets me because he said, we need to tough love her on her weed use and set boundres for visistation about three weeks ago. Now I'm leaving and he wants to pull the boundres away for assistance....This puts me as the inforcer again. I'm not going to let it upset me, I'm going to get much needed sleep and much needed adult time for a few days next week!
I read advise given about choices on raising the kids. As much as I would love to make a choice ,the courts will be pulling the baby from me in Nov for adoption if mom doesn't come clean for weed. Stupid AZ law! My thought process has been how can I continue with the other two kids? I'm going to be a emotional basket case after raising him since birth, he'll be 10mths in Nov. when and if the courts rip him out of my life forever.
I keep thinking you must go on, but you know what, my emotional health status is good today, most days I cry all day until the girls are getting home from school and then I pull myself together for them. I have blood vessles in my face that have broken due to crying so much!This isn't living this is beating myself up!
I called my oldest GD mom and told her 6 years is enough. I will be filing for my gaudianship to be removed. I will ask the courts to look into her CPS case and make their decision for reuniting the family, if the courts feel it is not in her best interest then she'll have to go into a foster home. Nov if my daughter doesn't get her children back due to her weed use. Again Zac will go up for adoption per the courts last month and his sister will need to go into a foster home.
This is a no win situation. The only win I can see is my GC will not have to see or be with me when I break down. I want them to remember me as strong but loving. The two girls should remember and when they get into women hood and have children of their own, I hope some of the values I have tried to give them will shine. As for my GS, he's too young and I know he will not remember me... I'll always remember him.
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