Going for Broke
We've decided to have her apply for disability. I only make enough to make payments on my own bills and student loans. The application process takes 6 months and endo isn't one of the things that they would immediately approve without an appeal after an initial denial when she'll get a chance to talk to a fair hearing judge. I want to support her with this because I can barely see her in so much pain after she comes home from work. She can tell that I'm worried about our finances though and it kills her. Idk what I'm gonna do.
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I\'m currently on disability due to Endometriosis, Adenomyosis,
Pelvic adhesive disease, Interstitial Cystitis and last but not least Generalized anxiety disorder. It took me 3 years of being unable to work before I finally broke down and even applied. i cried outside of the Social Security office the day that I finally did. It was hard for me to come to terms with being \"disabled\" at such a young age. It just kept getting worse and eventually it was evident that I was no longer capable of working. I had to get a wheelchair so i could go to the grocery store, a shower chair because I was unable to stand up long enough to take one, a stool in the bathroom so I can do my hair/make up and one in the kitchen so that I could cook dinner. I don\'t know how bad off your girlfriend is currently but she doesn\'t have to be in a wheelchair to win her case and I was not in one at the time of my hearing but close to it. I should have filed long before I did, but I just kept thinking that each surgery was going to fix me. It took about 18 months to get through the process and to win my case...so the sooner you get started...the better. You will need every medical record from every doctor that you can get your hands on. Every ER trip, annual doctors visits...etc. Can she hold out and/or take an FMLA leave from work while you at least speak with a lawyer or your local Social Security office? Or, just wait to get fired for absences or tardiness...so you can at least collect unemployment? Most of the time, you are denied not only once but twice prior to getting a hearing date set. I got a lawyer after my first denial letter. I\'m so glad and grateful that I did too. They do get quite a big cut from your backpay (was well worth it in my opinion) and do not get paid unless you win your case.
Im so sorry, I have to get off of this computer and get some rest but feel free to contact me if you have any questions concerning this or anything else. I know my response on here was unsolicited experience and advise...but I want to help in any way possible. It\'s difficult to get disability and especially to get it solely based on Endometriosis. Its not fair or right at all...so, i\'m hoping and praying that she gets it! Endo does not get the respect it deserves. It grows in us like little benign tumors that bleed every month and then scar tissue forms causing major pain and problems too...yet because it\'s not \"cancer\" then we\'re made to believe that it\'s just something that we have to deal with because we are women. Sickens me! ~Jenny
I showed her your posts. Boy, I must have done something good to come across a person like you.Thank you for sharing your story to us and thank you so much for offering your guidance. Lord knows that we could use anything that we can get.
I do apologize for my late reply. I work a lot. She almost broke down after reading your posts. There\'s a certain loneliness about her that even I can\'t alleviate. I suppose that it\'s one of the curses of this disease. Nobody believes you. I hate it. It angers me a lot to listen to what Teri\'s been through. It angered me that you were brought to tears to what you\'d succumbed to with disability. No. Succumb is not the right word. It took a lot of strength to do it. And I hope you\'re proud of yourself for that.
Teri has always been a self-sufficient woman. When she finally came to terms with her inability to work, she came home in tears with pain. I tell you, it\'s like death to watch her in that state without any solution to what\'s causing it.
If you don\'t mind, I would like to take you up on your offer. We know as much about filing for disability for endometriosis as google has to offer; which, much like the knowledge of people outside of the internet towards the illness, isn\'t very much.
What I\'m very worried about is the amount of income that her employer claims on her checks. She had to drop out of school because of her illness and worked as a server to make ends meet. Her take home pay is literally at 0 net income but the employer shows a 20% take home tip. This amounts to about 500-600 a week which really isn\'t the case when you count the fact that she is only able to work 3 days a week. The ss website says that she\'ll get denied the application if she makes more than $1070 per month. We live in NY and I don\'t make enough for the both of us to live on. If she decreases the number of days that she\'s working, she won\'t have enough money to tide her over while they process her disability. Her employer won\'t fire her because regardless of her illness, she\'s the best employee they have so we unemployment is out of the question. She\'s also not the kind of person that simply won\'t show up for work because she\'s become friends with the owner and empathizes with their need to keep her. I\'m at a point where I\'m trying to convince her to make him fire her. While I was at work, I asked her to go to the social service department to see what they can do. She brought home a bunch of pamphlets. I think she\'ll qualify for food stamps and some cash help but I\'m afraid that it won\'t be enough for the expenses even with my income. I read somewhere that they can provide her with an \'Interim Disability benefit\' while she\'s waiting for the approval but I have no clue where to start. And I know that the more that we delay this, the more she\'ll have to endure pain. I\'d very much appreciate any advice that you can offer, Jenny. Again, thank you so very much for reaching out. You\'re a blessing.
Ok. Where to start? First off...you\'re both too kind. I\'m not proud that I\'m on disability as I am of the same mindset that Teri is in that I enjoy working and being self sufficient. It never occurred to me to be proud of myself for filing for disability. Thank you for that. It\'s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.
As far as her loneliness...well, it doesn\'t quite go away...but advocating for your own right to quality care and adequate pain relief does help. We may not have control over having this disease, but we do have control over our treatments and whether or not to simply walk out of a doctors office because of THEIR inability/inadequacy to treat us with the respect and dignity we deserve. That\'s the most powerful tool in our arsenal. When you are in so much constant pain however, it\'s hard to fight for yourself...It\'s awesome that she has you and I have a feeling that you are more than willing to fight for her.
Now for the subject of disability. I do know that you can work while on it and earn UP TO $1000 and still keep your benefits. However, my understanding is that this could possibly cut into disability benefits which are only about $1000 for me and I get benefits on both of my children\'s behalf of $250 each. My husband works but barely brings in anything due to the fact that he works solely on commission and misses a lot of work because of me. You are both between a rock and a hard place it seems with her being unable to decrease her work days and have both of you survive. I would think that with the food stamps and some cash that it would help allow her to drop down to 2 days a week so that she would be able to apply. I hope you don\'t mind but I have a couple questions/suggestions.
1. What medications is she on? Being in pain management can help your case because how can a vocational expert ( and there will be one in what should be an informal court ) say that you can work if you\'re on a bunch of pain meds that knock you on your butt and that legally you\'re not supposed to even drive on or do anything dangerous.
2. What treatments has she done or is she on and whether or not anything has anything helped? Not that anyone can force you to do things when its well known that there is no cure for Endometriosis but it does show that she\'s tried to manage despite this horrific disease.
Hmmm...Interim benefits? Neither the disability office nor did my lawyer bring this up to me. You will have to ask about it when you file as I have not heard of this.
I\'m so sorry that i don\'t have all of the answers...hoping this helps some. Definitely set a date to meet with a disability lawyer. Do not pay for this. It should be a free consult and interview as many as it takes till you are comfortable with one. Also, it is customary to get the dreaded denial letter in the mail and tell Teri not to let it get to her please. It made me so mad. I didn\'t know it was standard.
UGH...I so wish you both lived here as I could take you both through all the steps that I went through except I would skip the ones that were a waste of time. It\'s just so hard to help over the internet. Sorry, I\'ve been through this process and we were dirt poor for the entirety of if. I wish I could tell you that this is a simple step by step process and that everything is going to go smoothly but honestly it\'s hard, stressful and anything but simple.
Sorry, it\'s like 1am here and I think I\'m worn out. I will get back on here tomorrow and try to help you through this. ~My thoughts and prayers are with you both. ~Jenny
Oh...before i pass out. I forgot to mention that it\'s also standard practice to be required to see one of \"their doctors\" and being that i was filing for Endo...I was sent to a shrink... Lovely huh? Better than being sent to a gyno tho...I don\'t think that was actually legal or an option thankfully. Hence the Generalized Anxiety Disorder being on my acceptance letter. (not that i don\'t have it, I do...but not the reason I filed) i wanted to win based solely on Endometriosis but am ok with Endo just being listed after battling it out for a year and a half. I also have a list that I need to share with you of things that she has to be unable to do in order to qualify/prove that she can not work. It helps that my lawyer gave this list to me to take to a couple of doctors to fill out and vouch that I physically could not work. Hoping that you find one that does the same and if not then maybe you will be able to use some of the things off of mine and ask Teri\'s doctors to write letters that would be beneficial to her case. Hugs~Jen