Going Flat

I woke up this morning feeling a bit down. Damn
My trip seems way too ambitious suddenly- and I am feeling the effects of this.
Damn and blast....
I dont want to stop smoking but it is way too expensive now. Damn.
Just got nothing to look forward to if i dont have my trip. Damn it.
Still putting on weight now 70.4 damn it.
What else is new?
I don't have anything else to report.
Do I still want to do course? or is that a bubble waiting to burst too?



I see from your last journal that you have an appt w/ Dr Chandra tomorrow. I hope she is able to help you thru this downturn. I wonder if your therapist would still think you are not bipolar but emotionally dysfunctional if he/she knew how you are feeling right now? Guess it doesn\'t much matter for the moment. I hope you get over this hump soon. I miss our chats were we type furiously back and forth.

I had a thought. When you gather info on your \'subjects\' for your book, you might want to consider doing it thru private messages. That way you have a record of it that you can print out, rather than losing all the info you gather thru chats. What\'chu think? I know you are feeling like the project is too ambitions for now, but I also know you will be feeling good again b/f Sept. You will get your enthusiasm back.

The question is, I guess, how long will you have between cycles. It would be disastrous to be in a depression in a foreign country! All of your friends in the States would do our best to help you feel comfortable if that were to happen, though.

Please keep us updated via journals, if you\'re able. There are many people rooting for you. You help a lot of us when we\'re down. It would be nice to be able to return the favor!