Going Behind Enemy Lines
Last night, I made some plans for some mandatory seminars I have to attend. Because of my gambling, I now have a limited time to take care of them, and the only one left for the time frame I have to do it in is being held in Lake Tahoe.....I went to this seminar there 2 years ago, and of course, gambled just about every minute I wasn't in the seminar. I am a little bit (OK a lot) worried about going there again. Am I strong enough? The BF is going with me, and he asked me last night if he could give me all his money for safekeeping that month before we go, as he needs not to blow his money on gambling so he can take care of something important that is due then. I guess I am proud that he trusts me to keep his money safe, and even optimistic that he may be starting to think about quitting gambling. It also feels like a lot of responsibility for me when I'll probably be tempted too. It isn't until July, and I'll just have to work on myself to be in a really strong frame of mind by then. Next time, I will plan ahead so that I can attend seminars in places where there is no gambling! In the past, I went to Vegas and Lake Tahoe. Next year I'll go to San Francisco instead. So....I will have to keep working on recovery until then. I need to remember I used to go to gambling venues for meetings and found other things to do. I just don't want to kid myself about the dangers involved. Hope everyone is having a great day.....Hugs, Dianne
Replies
(((Dianne)))
I started a response then erased it all... a bf that gambles will be with you...yucky....well...we\'ve got until July to work out a plan.
what were to happen if you didn\'t go?
I mean....I *KNOW* you have to go....but...let\'s just pretend for a moment that you came down with the flu? What, exactly, would happen???
San Francisco, another beautiful place. I suppose the temptation to gamble will always be there no matter where I am. I\'m grateful I have no urges, today. I have to be aware of the fact that caught off guard, under the right set of circumstances, I could be right back at it, suffering in my gambling addiction. So, I stay aware and in the moment (reality). I don\'t want to be caught off guard, been there already. It\'s cool your BF wants you to hold his money when you go to Tahoe, your recovery is showing :) Maybe he wants what he realizes you are achieving. I hope so. Take care, Love, Robin
Dianne, you have the opportunity to gamble any day of the week if you choose. You are choosing not to gamble each day. When you go to your meeting, you are still going to be that same person who is choosing not to gamble. You can do it if you prepare yourself ahead of time. If you choose to gamble, you will have to be ready to face the consequences. You\'ll have to remind yourself that you want to remain in control and by placing that first bet, you will be giving up your control. Have a great gamble free day...Love ya Sandie
dianne,
sounds if you have your work cut out for you. I wish you strength and courage. Notice I didn\'t put luck. LOL I am sure you will find a way to make it work. The flu thing sounds good to me. LOL I am glad you bf is seeing what gambling does, robs your money and he doesn\'t want to lose his. Hope this works out too! Take care you are a beautiful person and much loved.
Tessa
Believe me, I know the stress after just returning from LV, Nevada for 7 days. You know from my journal it wasn\'t a no gamble trip for me. You reminded me how dangerous it is, and you are so right. Lake Tahoe is soo beautiful. Think of all the wonderful things you can do there that don\'t involve gambling. Take solice in the fresh air and remember the fun moments you\'ve had like singing in the drive-thru. All those moments are worth so much more! You can do it.
There are a lot of other wonderful things to do in Lake Tahoe besides gambling...this will be a test though! You\'ll have 3 months to prepare for this fight, I KNOW you\'ll do just fine...
Stay focused and remember how gambling made you (and your pocketbook) feel. No more, it isn\'t worth it! Is there any chance that your BF won\'t go? Maybe you\'ll be fine in \"those type of environments\" if you had someone who fully supported your recovery...just a thought.
Biggest Hugs,
Liz