God please!

this past month has been hellish.... the cymbalta putting my colon to sleep, then having to get off the stuff and side effects.... which i'm still weaning off it. it has put my body thru hell.  and then .... now-- i gotta deal with Matthew's recent suicide thoughts and threats for a week now. he told his psychiatrist yesterday (while they held him there against his will) that I was to blame for him wanting to kill himself. he told me he just HATES life and everything about it. now every time we argue or disagree on anything it seems he threatens to commit suicide. like i have to put up with his shit and not say anything that will "agitate" him or he will kill himself. he said this is his reasoning since i'm the only reason he lives for. if you ask me, it's contradicting it's self.   God help us.... i will fill out more later. but for now i gotta go (he's comin back)  add on:i had another deep talk with him about shit.... i wanted him to know that he can NOT use suicide as "leverage" to manilpulate the out come of the argument or to just get what he wants. he told me that that's not the case. that he's been thru such hell the past couple months and he can't take anymore shit, that includes me yelling at him. the hell that he has been thru includes things like the fight with his best friend, a week of his unemployment pay being denied, his arm pain, etc.  i told him that i understand that. BUT my body has been putting me thru shit with the medicine and then the finacial problems i've been going thru the past couple months has stressed me the hell out so i can't take HIS shit either!! i told him that his mood has been such shit lately, all he ever does is bark at me or bite my head off every time i say anything. so if he doesn't want me yelling at him, then stop biting my fuckin head off every day! i'm on freakin edge with this shit!!! so basically we are both pulling our hair out about everything that's been happening. i told him to lay off me and i'll lay off him. it's a two way street. we'll call a truce for now untill our couples counseling beginning the 19th Oct. he agreed.  good God..... if anymore crap goes down or he threatens to kill himself again, i don't know what i'm gonna do. God be with us please.... and all those of you that pray, please pray fos us. thanks so much. i'm so run down......