goals and purpose in life... lost

My wife wants me too make done small goals to dork so i can stay on point. She thought thst if lying stored things would improve which haven't. Trying to decide a major I mean hotel business is good but not something I enjoy. Wanted to do need school but instead decided to party and waste my life away. Need to go beck and do something I enjoy don't really want to talk to my wife she is conflicted and she wants to try to keep working on me and she trying to heh in but I doubt she will be able long i need to figure out field on my own instead of dragging her into this and causing her pain. Hopefully one I start making the small goals she suggests on what I think is being a husband, father, etc she wants me to try to set girls in spending time once a week. Since my mother will be leaving soon to take care of my grandmother who be having heart surgery soon I'll hedge to take care of the work load. So I'm hedge to see what I can. I think I am making my wife bipolar one minute she is upset next minute she loves me and wants to work on this.  I think religion has a big part to play and I'm fearing she is doing this to save the marriage any other sane person would not put up with me. I am pretty sure she will read this and try to reassure me she is not leaving me and stuff. I wonder why I can't just leave her ofcourse I love her but it is ridiculously difficult seeing her hurt so why the hell should she be miserable and in love. I'll just ignore her if she brings it up. She is going to be upset and think I am trying to get her to leave and start over with someone else and then we will fight about how she can't live anyone else and a full speech. Only choice I have is to be a normal human who knows how long that will take she think she can wait forever but I know how hard it going to be for her. She million priorities than waste time and energy on me which always was stressful she been doing this for 10 years and 10 years of misery. It is what it is I'll try her way but she is going to disappointed thst much is for sure.