Go ahead and spill it
If only the exact truth were told for a year (every word spoken could ONLY come out as the truth) how would life change? Would life change? Would people like each other the same way? How different would people be to each other? Would friendships be the same?
Manipulation might be different ( Hey I'm moving on Saturday... do you want to help me?) Actually... you might have to be careful of HOW you say things... ( Hey I'm moving on Saturday... CAN you help me?) "No... I dont want to help you move, my girlfriend is coming over for the weekend and Im not sure if we will even get of bed."
Would the truth be selfish?
Give a sense of freedom?
Improve health?
Could the truth be said in a way that doesn't sound offensive? Or defensive? Just the "truth" for whatever it is?
Does telling the truth, take more courage than taking the "easy way out"?
Is the truth worth the risk of disappointing someone or should we always tell people what they want to hear?
Is misrepresentation of yourself or a..."Fake self" ( shined up person that appears to be - "more successful" "more together" "happier" "more important" has no "issues") telling the truth?
My biggest worry is telling someone exactly what I think ( even though they asked) and hurting their feelings. I dont like to do that.
How would things be different for you?
Manipulation might be different ( Hey I'm moving on Saturday... do you want to help me?) Actually... you might have to be careful of HOW you say things... ( Hey I'm moving on Saturday... CAN you help me?) "No... I dont want to help you move, my girlfriend is coming over for the weekend and Im not sure if we will even get of bed."
Would the truth be selfish?
Give a sense of freedom?
Improve health?
Could the truth be said in a way that doesn't sound offensive? Or defensive? Just the "truth" for whatever it is?
Does telling the truth, take more courage than taking the "easy way out"?
Is the truth worth the risk of disappointing someone or should we always tell people what they want to hear?
Is misrepresentation of yourself or a..."Fake self" ( shined up person that appears to be - "more successful" "more together" "happier" "more important" has no "issues") telling the truth?
My biggest worry is telling someone exactly what I think ( even though they asked) and hurting their feelings. I dont like to do that.
How would things be different for you?
Replies
I think there\'s a big difference between living an honest life and saying things you know will be hurtful, even if they\'re true. I choose to live a sometimes painfully honest life, as I\'ve had some experience with how much power secrets can give other people over you. I\'ve done a lot of things in my life that I\'m not proud of, but they are no longer secrets. I have been known to tell total strangers some pretty personal things if the topic of conversation leads there and they can either take me or leave me...their choice.
On the other hand, just yesterday I had to bite my tongue when my oldest child went off on a long rant about the \"true\" meaning of christmas, knowing she was addressing family members whose own beliefs she was trashing in the process. Honesty (mine) at that point would have hurt her deeply, while I don\'t give a damn what others think of my beliefs.
IMHO my decision to leave the room and get another glass of wine rather than respond \"honestly\" was a more moral decision than engaging in a conversation that was guaranteed to hurt her feelings.
Others may disagree. Interesting topic!
Thank you so much for your comments~
It makes me wonder... why do we feel so obligated to push down our own \"truth\" so that we dont hurt feelings? ( I do this sometimes- I really dont like it ) Maybe we could have a \"precursor\" to any conversation (lol) stating that ... \"ANYTHING that will be said in conversation is not in anyway meant to hurt anyone. The focus is to have the freedom to be exactly who we are with out fear of saying the \"wrong\" thing. So lets all REALLY (with love not judgment) get to know each other! :0) HA!
I haven\'t read the other posts as yet so this comes straight from the horses mouth-lol. Let\'s suppose a very homely man asks if he looks fairly okay. What do you tell him. What if you feel horrible and in alot of pain and someone asks how you are? One must be honest but in a proper, nonhurtful way. If asked how one is (if feeling horrible) one can say pluggin away or even not doing very well but how are you doing. It is a ballancing act. What is one to say. I think we all struggle with this issue from time to time.
Oh wow - just now checking in on this and I didnt know I had a comment! *YAY* I have a comment! LOL
Yes, this is exactly what I am talking about... how hard it is and where to draw the line. It IS a balancing act - for sure.