Gluten Free Shopping
Went grocery shopping at Sprouts today. Bought some gluten free products, and then lots of fruits and veggies. I don't generally eat a lot of fresh produce, but I know i'm going to be wanting to snack on something, and I can't afford all those fancy gluten free products. When I got home I was so exhausted. I finally got the groceries put away, slathered some nutella on a rice cake, and had my head on the table too tired to hold it up. I was also battling anxiety - when I get that tired, from the shopping trip, my anxiety gets bad. I didn't call anyone about the anxiety, but did track my thoughts - I thinking about 'what if somene comes in and sees me like this' what would they think/feel? I stopped, and thought, "God already sees me like this. How does He feel?" And I started crying and was able to let go some. I know God cares, He doesn't want me to be this tired, he understands my frustration, and I'm allowed to feel frustrated, helpless, lost. I need to let myself feel it, rather than keep denying and struggling to keep it all cool - that's when the anxiety and dissociation gets worse.