Giving up...

I found out yesterday that I have not ovulated yet...or that I did and it stopped. Why???no one can tell me. I thought that this new drug was going to work but obviously it is doing something else to me or my body is trying to tell me to quit. I feel like I have  been fighting a loosing battle. I will go in on Monday for another blood test which probably will reveal the same stuff as Friday's test. From there I do not know what to do.My body is not cooperating with my desires. It is time to listen to my body and just give up the fight. I need to deal with not having kids naturally by any means.  Trying to get healthy and being the perfect wife and homemaker should be my goals. The pain is so deep that I need to heal and get over things. I even went as far as looking for houses in professional communities where there are adults no kids. Imagine living with other couples who do not have kids and who may have never had the desire for children. But I know that I can not live in a bubble. I just need some coping mechanism when I see happy families, pregnant women or listen to friends drone on and on about their children. I need to feel numb.We have not heard from the adoption place yet. I am taking all of this as a sign that it is over for us. I am still going to do the acupuncture as a relaxation technique and keep up the exercise...none of this will be for fertility anymore. I am going to do this stuff for me.I have met so many wonderful women on this site. I will probably stay on to give lots of support, and a listening ear to those who need it.  So as of August 9th, 2008, my fertility / infertilty journey ends.I sending all the baby dust that I have left for those who need it.