Giving up hope...

It's been a little over 7 months since losing Evelyn on October 15, 2014, at 24 weeks. That day I died with my baby and since then, my heart has never been the same. After a Rollercoaster of up's and downs we were blessed to be pregnant again. Today we had our first doctor's appointment and had to sadly find out that our baby did not have a heartbeat.  I was 10 weeks along with what I thought would be my rainbow baby and a blessed sibling for my Evelyn to watch over. All we could do was break down in the doctor's office. It just brought back the moment that I had to lose Evelyn due to a cord accident. I don't have the strength nor any hope left. Why did this have to happen. It's another slap in the face. 
Evelyn, mommy misses you so much and was hoping and praying for a sibling for you to watch over. Instead, your sibling has gone to heaven to keep you company. You are no longer alone my precious daughter. I miss you so much and love you with all my heart.