Gezz
Does it always feel your the only family member that helps out...I mean one night I need my brother or sister to keep mom..but NO...what really gets to me is this..
One.my brother thinks I am rich so I can hire help cause my hubby worked for the Railroad...hey we still have bills..too..
He worked for GM they have great benefits and retirement income...
Then my sister..the things I have helped her with..
1...Every summer she was growing up she spent at my house.
2...When she had her first baby 18 years ago I kept for 9 months spending my money taking care of him and took care of her during her post-part-depression...driving her husband back and forth over an hour one way so he could see her...taking her home and then keeping Stephen(which I love) for the rest of the time until the courts said he had to be back home at 9 months.
3...When she had her brain tumor..I drove her and the whole family back and forth to Cinn, Ohio...my money, my car..
4. She needs a ride anywhere..who do they call well it is not the ghost buster's..of course it is me..
5. who do they come to when money is low cause they don't know how to manage it..you guessed it...me
I have had mom for 2 months stretched to the max...and the answer..is NOPE...
Social Worker has still not come to see if we can put her back in the nursing home...No one knows how bad her memory is...and today today..what happens..she says to me
Sandi, do you have any children...I said yes..I have four and you know where I went from there...I really thought I was headed for the mental ward right then..I just can't take these questions like that and they are almost constant..She says I should have known you had children shouldn't I...It was like being in that situation where you run into someone who has not heard your horrible news..and you have to share with them, you lost your child...it's everyday...Mentally I can't take it or physically..
What do I do...where do I turn...called the Social Worker again..left message telling her I didn't think I could do this much longer and I meant another day...
Is there anywhere you can take them like you do when you have problems with your children and feel you just have to have a break...I feel like just taking her to the nursing home dropping her off and saying bye...Sounds terrible I know..but if she was happy I think I could deal with it more..but she isn't..not one minute...
What to do?? I just don't know What to do";;Going to loss it if something does not give..
Sorry to burden you all with my problems...Sandi
Oh Kenny, i wish you were here, then maybe I could handle it..and I know you would like her to visit you...why does everything seem to go wrong...I know a lot of good happens to but I am just exhausted...between losing you..the pressure of mom now..the pain...that is so bad...you would have the answers my son..wouldn't you...I miss you so much...I want to..I am going to see Woody's game..but it is going to be so hard...If only I could talk to you you could give me the advise I need...I love you, miss you...this is going to be a hard trip knowing you won't be there with us in person...I hope they win and Woody will play his best...I know he is playing hard for You...we all miss you so much...You were are Strong Person with the answers...who can help us now like you did...No one knows how you used to help me so many times...Love you baby..mom just can't believe that your gone...can't believe the 30th and it will be 19 months since that horrible night...I love you..I hope you can feel my love..Mom
One.my brother thinks I am rich so I can hire help cause my hubby worked for the Railroad...hey we still have bills..too..
He worked for GM they have great benefits and retirement income...
Then my sister..the things I have helped her with..
1...Every summer she was growing up she spent at my house.
2...When she had her first baby 18 years ago I kept for 9 months spending my money taking care of him and took care of her during her post-part-depression...driving her husband back and forth over an hour one way so he could see her...taking her home and then keeping Stephen(which I love) for the rest of the time until the courts said he had to be back home at 9 months.
3...When she had her brain tumor..I drove her and the whole family back and forth to Cinn, Ohio...my money, my car..
4. She needs a ride anywhere..who do they call well it is not the ghost buster's..of course it is me..
5. who do they come to when money is low cause they don't know how to manage it..you guessed it...me
I have had mom for 2 months stretched to the max...and the answer..is NOPE...
Social Worker has still not come to see if we can put her back in the nursing home...No one knows how bad her memory is...and today today..what happens..she says to me
Sandi, do you have any children...I said yes..I have four and you know where I went from there...I really thought I was headed for the mental ward right then..I just can't take these questions like that and they are almost constant..She says I should have known you had children shouldn't I...It was like being in that situation where you run into someone who has not heard your horrible news..and you have to share with them, you lost your child...it's everyday...Mentally I can't take it or physically..
What do I do...where do I turn...called the Social Worker again..left message telling her I didn't think I could do this much longer and I meant another day...
Is there anywhere you can take them like you do when you have problems with your children and feel you just have to have a break...I feel like just taking her to the nursing home dropping her off and saying bye...Sounds terrible I know..but if she was happy I think I could deal with it more..but she isn't..not one minute...
What to do?? I just don't know What to do";;Going to loss it if something does not give..
Sorry to burden you all with my problems...Sandi
Oh Kenny, i wish you were here, then maybe I could handle it..and I know you would like her to visit you...why does everything seem to go wrong...I know a lot of good happens to but I am just exhausted...between losing you..the pressure of mom now..the pain...that is so bad...you would have the answers my son..wouldn't you...I miss you so much...I want to..I am going to see Woody's game..but it is going to be so hard...If only I could talk to you you could give me the advise I need...I love you, miss you...this is going to be a hard trip knowing you won't be there with us in person...I hope they win and Woody will play his best...I know he is playing hard for You...we all miss you so much...You were are Strong Person with the answers...who can help us now like you did...No one knows how you used to help me so many times...Love you baby..mom just can't believe that your gone...can't believe the 30th and it will be 19 months since that horrible night...I love you..I hope you can feel my love..Mom
Replies
Sandi, sooo sorry about this terrible stretch in your life. IT\'s too much. Too too much. Someday you will wonder how you survived it at all... but you will.
Much love, Sarah
Trials always test us in so many ways....it is not easy for you because where you would be quite willing to do this any other time...right now, it is on top of the grief you are dealing with and always will to a degree. There comes a time when it will ease up but grief changes us in so many ways. I pray that you will get the relief from your siblings or a good nursing home soon. You already know in your heart that you can do all things through Christ ...who strengthens you!! Love and blessings, dale...brandon\'s mom
So appreciate each one of you..Social worker will be here Monday for Evaluation..Pray it goes good...WE know we can\'t keep it up...just God\'s hand...Will guide up through..By the way we are still trying to get her back to the first nursing home she was in...Prayers appreciated...Sandi
Siblings are such pains in the asses (yes, I did say Asses when I could have just said posteriors but it doesn\'t have the same effect).. sometimes... I know mine are. Hopefully the social worker will be diligent enough to see what you see. Hugs, MaryLou
Sandi, I know you need a break badly. Hold on. I will pray that the social worker actually shows up and gives you the result you so desperately need at the moment. I will be praying EXTRA on Monday for you.
love and more hugs, Margery Ann
Sandy,
I would take mom to the ER. They would admit her and then the social workers would get involved. You can also call the Ombudsmen but I would do the ER.
Sandi, I am sorry your siblings aren\'t any help. The care of an elderly parent is a lot for one person. Love & hugs, Linda
Sandi, I think you said you were the oldest child in your family. I am too. My siblings think I\'m responsible to fix everything. No asking, just expect it. I had the same problems (you are having) with my brother when mom was ill. He was not close to mom (super close to dad) and his focus was not mom, but to keep his wife happy. So if she said it was okay to help he did, and if she thought we were being to demanding of him, she said so and he didn\'t help. I don\'t understand their thinking...never will. The burden is heavy when you are the only one to carry it. Continuing to send prayers your way. love and peace, Roselle