Getting things off my chest

I have done some terrible things resulting from gambling!  Yesterday I called off work to go gamble, today I feel so bad about it that I called off again. But today is different I have decided to stop gambling! I'm tired of feeling down.  I have a lot of work to do to make things right again.  I am hurting someone that is very dear to me and they don't even know it.  I have used their credit card to support my habit!  I know its wrong and I have to fix it.  If they ever find out they will never trust me again.  I have sold all my jewelry that my husband gave me throughout our 26 years to support my addiction. I almost lost our home a year ago. I have drained my 401. I have payday loans. I have lost contact with my friends.  I have resulted to sitting in my living room with no sound leaving me to constantly think about how to come up with more money to gamble.  I know this is not healthy for me but you see I no longer find pleasure in anything.  I used to be a avid walker, biker and gardener not to mention a full time job and homemaker.  In the meantime I have gained 30lbs!  And lost my self respect.  My husband is also a gambler, but in order to help him I must help myself first and he will follow. I'm sure there's many more things I have done I just can't think of them at the moment.  God give me the strength to get myself back to normal. oh how I miss me!