Getting ready to go
On Thursday Drew and I are flying from Boston to Dublin to Glasgow. On Friday we'll poke around Glasgow and spend the night there. On Saturday we'll take a train to Fort William and meet up with my sister and BIL. On Sunday, we'll start walking! Walking for 75 miles, over the following 6 days, up the Great Glen Way, to Inverness. It might be rainy... but it will be green and beautiful no matter what. Woo hoo! A bonny holiday.
The whole thing came about because last summer when we were still staggering after losing Andy, my sister Lizzie said, "We need things to look forward to." We got together with a bottle of wine and made a big list of places we'd all like to see, and Scotland was at the top of everyone's list. My BIL Tred is actually a member of a very active clan...
Anyway, we're psyched. I'm packed. I have REALLY good waterproof walking shoes, all kinds of books loaded onto my Kindle, and almost everything is ready. I realized that half of getting away is preparing myself for being THERE, and half of getting away is making sure that everything back HERE is ok. The dogs, the house, the housesitter, the lawns, the bills, etc. Oh not to mention my job... which is never easy to leave with all the clamoring clients. Bye-bye!
Last night I took a big sheet of beautiful hand-made paper, sort of brown and white (like Andy's batik from the dream!) and cut it into nine smaller squares, each about 8x8. I took a pinch of ashes from the box over which Hootie watches day and night, and folded it into each of the squares, into little individual small packets. These went into a ziploc bag, along with about a dozen of the thousand multi-colored origami paper cranes that were folded for Andy by a friend when he was diagnosed with cancer. I don't have an exact plan... more of a loose concept... and maybe one of you can help me feel my way towards some focus here... I'm thinking that on each of our days on this hike, I will find a special little place, and open the paper and sprinkle that little half-teaspoonful of Andy's ashes into the waters, grounds, and skies of Scotland. Maybe I should have some words? Maybe a song? Maybe a prayer?
I have one other idea for the ashes... when I get back. I want to start a pretty large crop of PEAR TREES. Andy loved pears, and his dad Larry has a great pear tree. I have been reading about how to grow pears from seeds... it's more complicated than I thought. But it's something Andy would have loved... he had such an agricultural soul. So if I can start a lot of little baby pear trees... with a pinch of ash in each pot, then someday there will be pears, and they will be taking Andy into the world for birds and worms and dragonflies and all of creation... maybe even for some of us to eat. Andy, when he was feeling quite irreverent, told us, and even his poor dear Dr. Evans, that he believed in 'reincarnivoration' -- that we would all have to eat him after he died. No thank you, we said! But I will figure out how to grow pear trees. Again, if anyone has experience, praytell, how is it done?!?
Grateful today for
1. little things that go right.
2. a long walk after dinner
3. running into a friend when I was near home, and feeling close to her
4. the smell of Miss Kim Lilacs
5. my loving home, and knowing I'll see my beloved Mum and Dad tomorrow for lunch.
And for this amazing world. Wish Andy could have been with me tonight. I held Hootie last night after folding up the paper packets and ached so hard it took my breath away. Why, where, how... things I'll never know.
xoxoxo Sarah
The whole thing came about because last summer when we were still staggering after losing Andy, my sister Lizzie said, "We need things to look forward to." We got together with a bottle of wine and made a big list of places we'd all like to see, and Scotland was at the top of everyone's list. My BIL Tred is actually a member of a very active clan...
Anyway, we're psyched. I'm packed. I have REALLY good waterproof walking shoes, all kinds of books loaded onto my Kindle, and almost everything is ready. I realized that half of getting away is preparing myself for being THERE, and half of getting away is making sure that everything back HERE is ok. The dogs, the house, the housesitter, the lawns, the bills, etc. Oh not to mention my job... which is never easy to leave with all the clamoring clients. Bye-bye!
Last night I took a big sheet of beautiful hand-made paper, sort of brown and white (like Andy's batik from the dream!) and cut it into nine smaller squares, each about 8x8. I took a pinch of ashes from the box over which Hootie watches day and night, and folded it into each of the squares, into little individual small packets. These went into a ziploc bag, along with about a dozen of the thousand multi-colored origami paper cranes that were folded for Andy by a friend when he was diagnosed with cancer. I don't have an exact plan... more of a loose concept... and maybe one of you can help me feel my way towards some focus here... I'm thinking that on each of our days on this hike, I will find a special little place, and open the paper and sprinkle that little half-teaspoonful of Andy's ashes into the waters, grounds, and skies of Scotland. Maybe I should have some words? Maybe a song? Maybe a prayer?
I have one other idea for the ashes... when I get back. I want to start a pretty large crop of PEAR TREES. Andy loved pears, and his dad Larry has a great pear tree. I have been reading about how to grow pears from seeds... it's more complicated than I thought. But it's something Andy would have loved... he had such an agricultural soul. So if I can start a lot of little baby pear trees... with a pinch of ash in each pot, then someday there will be pears, and they will be taking Andy into the world for birds and worms and dragonflies and all of creation... maybe even for some of us to eat. Andy, when he was feeling quite irreverent, told us, and even his poor dear Dr. Evans, that he believed in 'reincarnivoration' -- that we would all have to eat him after he died. No thank you, we said! But I will figure out how to grow pear trees. Again, if anyone has experience, praytell, how is it done?!?
Grateful today for
1. little things that go right.
2. a long walk after dinner
3. running into a friend when I was near home, and feeling close to her
4. the smell of Miss Kim Lilacs
5. my loving home, and knowing I'll see my beloved Mum and Dad tomorrow for lunch.
And for this amazing world. Wish Andy could have been with me tonight. I held Hootie last night after folding up the paper packets and ached so hard it took my breath away. Why, where, how... things I'll never know.
xoxoxo Sarah
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