Getting out of my rut
Well, these past few weeks have just been "ok." Can't even say it has been a roller coaster, because no "highs." I just feel "stuck." I have been exercising, watching what I eat, drinking water. Was stuck at 168.5 lbs forever. don't get me wrong. Not doing anything drastic, but sheesh! Would have been nice to at least lose a few! I went down to 168.3 today. I guess down is down, right? I have just been looking in the mirror these last few weeks and really feel AWFUL about myself. Physically and mentally. I have to give myself a pep talk every morning to keep going. I have kind of felt bloated too which I know isn't helping.
Yesterday was my birthday and it was just "ok." Not good, not bad. Worked. Cooked dinner. Still kind of lonely around here without David. he did call me to wish me a happy birthday. And my mom called. Neither one of my brothers or sisters or my dad called. Paul has really been depressed and in the dumps himself, which is not helping. I feel like I am treading water with an anchor. I know somehow I have to keep strong and make myself stronger as I seem to be the one holding up the family. it's just life. It's just a woman's job, right?!
Other than my friends on DS and a few on FB, I feel "friendless." I had the two friends I used to go to Zumba with, but David stole the Ipod from the one woman's son and I just feel weird calling her. I really gotta get myself out of the dumps. I know I am putting a lot on my weight and how that makes me feel. But really, I think my self confidence will be MUCH better if I could lose 35+ lbs. I just feel awful right now and very frustrated. And having a closet full of clothes that don't fit me doesn't help. I did have to break down and buy a pair of jeans since the 1 pair I did have that fit me is really starting to show wear. I am getting 10k steps a day, almost every day now for almost 2 weeks. I have dropped 5 lbs since the first week of May, but like I said, this past week I have been stuck at 168.5 until today. PRAYING that I go down tomorrow. Even going down .1 a day is still going down!
Work is much better. I have been working extra and better focus and getting caught up, so that stress (Thank God) is much better. I was really worried for a few weeks about getting put on probation (after 16 years!) Phew. So I am good now. and the more relaxed I get at work, the more productive I am.
I am reading Nora Roberts "Unfinished Business" now. Just started it. Needed a break. I read the entire "Hunger Games" trilogy. It was pretty good. I bought "50 Shades of Gray" for myself to read one of these days soon. Figure that will be a juicy summer read!
Yesterday was my birthday and it was just "ok." Not good, not bad. Worked. Cooked dinner. Still kind of lonely around here without David. he did call me to wish me a happy birthday. And my mom called. Neither one of my brothers or sisters or my dad called. Paul has really been depressed and in the dumps himself, which is not helping. I feel like I am treading water with an anchor. I know somehow I have to keep strong and make myself stronger as I seem to be the one holding up the family. it's just life. It's just a woman's job, right?!
Other than my friends on DS and a few on FB, I feel "friendless." I had the two friends I used to go to Zumba with, but David stole the Ipod from the one woman's son and I just feel weird calling her. I really gotta get myself out of the dumps. I know I am putting a lot on my weight and how that makes me feel. But really, I think my self confidence will be MUCH better if I could lose 35+ lbs. I just feel awful right now and very frustrated. And having a closet full of clothes that don't fit me doesn't help. I did have to break down and buy a pair of jeans since the 1 pair I did have that fit me is really starting to show wear. I am getting 10k steps a day, almost every day now for almost 2 weeks. I have dropped 5 lbs since the first week of May, but like I said, this past week I have been stuck at 168.5 until today. PRAYING that I go down tomorrow. Even going down .1 a day is still going down!
Work is much better. I have been working extra and better focus and getting caught up, so that stress (Thank God) is much better. I was really worried for a few weeks about getting put on probation (after 16 years!) Phew. So I am good now. and the more relaxed I get at work, the more productive I am.
I am reading Nora Roberts "Unfinished Business" now. Just started it. Needed a break. I read the entire "Hunger Games" trilogy. It was pretty good. I bought "50 Shades of Gray" for myself to read one of these days soon. Figure that will be a juicy summer read!
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PS- David is doing pretty good. Brought his English grade up to an A! Wow! Still struggling with math, but they are helping him. After a little over a month, I am feeling like I am starting to see change. Paul and I are now taking yet another 6 week parenting class, but I am still hopeful. David is coming home for the day on Sunday. Have to pick him up, bring him home then bring him back later. 1 hr drive each way is a drag. But we have no choice. This past week we drove the dogs down and picked up David and went to a nice dog park and had a great time. But we left Remmy\'s football there! Ugh!
Happy Birthday. I\'m with my daughter and her family before they travel to Amsterdam. They lived there for three years when William was
four years old. Now they\'ll return with George. So the visits to Amsterdam begin for us.
Don\'t be too hard on yourself about your weight...it doesn\'t work or motivate it just makes one feel worse.
I\'m dealing with getting older and looking older, something hard to deal with for me. No amounts of creams or \"potions\" can help that process.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Know You Are Loved.
Happy Birthday! Great news about David and his school grades.
As for no roller coaster, no highs....also there are no lows and that is a huge plus. Take one day at a time with the weight loss. Take it back to baby steps.
Leaving huge hugs and wishes for a wonderful holiday!
It\'s great that you lost 5lbs this month.. I know it\'s hard when you get stuck. Hopefully on your next weigh in you will lose more.
I am so happy to hear you are doing better at work
Sounds like David is doing great on his school work that\'s wonderful. the help he\'s getting(with the school work)maybe the best thing for him.
I hope you start feeling better too.
You are the strong one.
Enjoy your reading Hugs