Getting on with it

I've spent the last year and a half letting things go.  I used to be thin, reliable, ambitious, independent, a non stop worker, and careful about my appearance.  Now I forget appointments, gained twenty pounds, let the house go, put things off.  Don't trust my instincts about people as much.  Something seems wrong about the order of things in the world.  Who I thought my own daughter was and her feelings for me was wrong.  How my mother reacted and has treated me through this difficult time has been another terrible blow.  It is hard for me to feel confident about anything when two of the people I trusted the most have hurt me the most.  My trust in others is gone.  This affects every aspect of my life.  It affects my life at work, with my husband and my children.  How do I know this won't happen with them too?  I never saw this coming.  I feel like I should brace myself for the next blow.