Getting my anger out/offensive language included
I am in touch with my anger, at last. I am trying to take it out in healthy ways. I am not contacting him. I am staying off of social media and not calling anyone today. I cleaning the heck out of this little house that used to be ours. Scrubbing the kitchen up some, dealing with some flooring issues and that's a nightmare.
Here is my anger:
Mother fucker you built this elaborate box to go under the litter box for the cats. You wanted cats, I am a dog person. I still have the two cats. That was a sign that you were up to something. I did not ask you to do that. You then went outside and built this elaborate thing to put the trash dumpster on. Also not something I asked you to do, nor did we seem to need it for the last year or two. It was fine as is.
Today the shit hit the fan for me. It all just hit hard. As I try to clean up the physical messes in this house.
I sorta apologize for my language, but not really. This is how I get my anger out. My letter to him, which he will not get for now.
W, you are a cheating lying son of a bitch. That is the nicest thing I have to say. You are the most selfish and thoughtless person I think I have ever met and I wonder why I married you.
I took you in when you lost your job and lost your home and you still shit all over me. You went to Memphis, left me in the ice and snow, and hung out and carried on with your old girlfriend/fuck buddy Linda. And then emailed her a lot afterwards.
Now you have all the new groupies like Rebecca, and For Fuck's Sake you have lied to me about more times about her than you can count. And you don't have the balls to respond to me.
Funny you tell me she is a pain in your ass, and that she is as big as a house and you'd never have a thing to do with her. She is not big and yes you would do that. You love everything she says on facebook and vice versa, and her teenage daughter as well. You have always had a thing for single women with attractive daughters, just Like Me. I have called you on that before, and you deny, but dude that is your pattern.
It is disgusting.
Everyone else is seeing what a lying sack of shit you are. You should be making about $60-$70K a year with your master's degree and experience but you won't do it. You leave me with the bill here and run off to your one bedroom apartment where you can watch ESPN 24/7 or surf porn or go play music which you call a job. Bull fucking shit.
My first husband, a saint by comparison would tell me to put you on what he called the "Shunda" program, when someone just has to go the f away.
You are a coward, a liar, a womanizer, a cheater. You can suck pond water, you can pound sand.
Here is my anger:
Mother fucker you built this elaborate box to go under the litter box for the cats. You wanted cats, I am a dog person. I still have the two cats. That was a sign that you were up to something. I did not ask you to do that. You then went outside and built this elaborate thing to put the trash dumpster on. Also not something I asked you to do, nor did we seem to need it for the last year or two. It was fine as is.
Today the shit hit the fan for me. It all just hit hard. As I try to clean up the physical messes in this house.
I sorta apologize for my language, but not really. This is how I get my anger out. My letter to him, which he will not get for now.
W, you are a cheating lying son of a bitch. That is the nicest thing I have to say. You are the most selfish and thoughtless person I think I have ever met and I wonder why I married you.
I took you in when you lost your job and lost your home and you still shit all over me. You went to Memphis, left me in the ice and snow, and hung out and carried on with your old girlfriend/fuck buddy Linda. And then emailed her a lot afterwards.
Now you have all the new groupies like Rebecca, and For Fuck's Sake you have lied to me about more times about her than you can count. And you don't have the balls to respond to me.
Funny you tell me she is a pain in your ass, and that she is as big as a house and you'd never have a thing to do with her. She is not big and yes you would do that. You love everything she says on facebook and vice versa, and her teenage daughter as well. You have always had a thing for single women with attractive daughters, just Like Me. I have called you on that before, and you deny, but dude that is your pattern.
It is disgusting.
Everyone else is seeing what a lying sack of shit you are. You should be making about $60-$70K a year with your master's degree and experience but you won't do it. You leave me with the bill here and run off to your one bedroom apartment where you can watch ESPN 24/7 or surf porn or go play music which you call a job. Bull fucking shit.
My first husband, a saint by comparison would tell me to put you on what he called the "Shunda" program, when someone just has to go the f away.
You are a coward, a liar, a womanizer, a cheater. You can suck pond water, you can pound sand.
Replies
And I would like to add Fuck You In The Neck.
Ok, now I feel better.
Reading your entry made me feel better. It just feels good to get that out. I have yet to write the \"letter that will not be mailed\" because it might turn into a novel. I understand how you can support someone for so long and then they turn and deceive you. I strongly support not using social media for a while. Seeing what he is doing only makes matters worse. For those fancy contraptions he built, would it be hard for you to tear them down? Right now, everything is about making you happy and having an easy transition. I am currently remodeling my bedroom. Just making this room my own has been a joy. I am able to change it to suit me and not my STBX. Keep on venting. It is very therapeutic.
Excellent suggestion about getting rid of the elaborate contraptions! That could be very therapeutic. My STBX would do the same things, deciding we needed something built, then going out and spending a bunch of money on tools and materials. Honestly, I used to let him do the stuff, just to keep him busy so he\'d leave me alone. I hope you feel better from venting. I am disappointed that you are stuck with his cats, when you\'re not really a cat person. I hope they are good to you and make you feel better, not worse. I am a cat person myself, but I\'m not sure how I\'d feel if my STBX dumped his cats onto me.
Thanks ladies! It did feel good to get that out of me and do it here and not in some other way. I could add more and maybe I will. But I also need to not dwell on it all too much or I won\'t move forward. As for his fancy contraptions, no there is no way for me to break em down so they are going on the growing pile of trash that is gonna cost me a bundle to get rid of. I have two large ladders here that are his and are worth some money and I think I am just gonna sell those, since he can\'t seem to be bothered with them.
As for the animals, I have 3. My dog who is now 16 but mostly doing ok. And the 2 cats I rescued but I got them for him as he is the cat person. I have grown to love them deeply and they are good company and oddly great companions for the dog. I do get tired of the cost that I have to bear for feeding etc. (Can I ask the court for pet support???). And I get tired of the litter box and the pet hair. But I would not give them up for the world. He asked for visitation and I said no. It makes the dog nuts...and confuses all of them.
I wish my kids would unfriend him on Facebook but that is up to them. At least now they can see what he is doing and it is ridiculous.
Will I ever get to the point where I can truly wish him peace and happiness?