Getting Kinda Better
Had a bit of a set back this week anxiety wise. I am being forced to go to mandatory meetings for both my scholarship and major this week, and it's basically me sitting in a room alone with a bunch of people who know each other. It's feeling alone in a crowded room, and I think it's a far worse feeling than being alone and actually being alone. I don't know why I've never been the type of person who can just walk up to a person and strike up a conversation. I've always been someone who waits for someone to talk to them before even considering speaking up. It kind of explains why I only have a few friends, and sadly I've left pretty much all of them back in San Antonio. It does not help matters any when no one wants to sit next to me. Quite literally in all my classes I sit in a circle of empty chairs. I've learned the end of the row is my friend because at least it's only half a circle. I look around and everyone's got at least one person sitting next to them and I sit by myself like I've got the plague or something. True, I could get up and move near the people but I don't have enough strength to do that, honestly.
On the exercise front I am still going strong. I am on week three on insanity which is exactly what it sounds like and I am insane for even getting this for or starting it in the first place. I must say I wonder why I didn't start sooner.I have discovered the wonderful powers of exercise. It helps a lot with the anxiety. I feel stronger and I am capable of so much more than I had orginally thought. My limitations are shrinking. Soon I will hit 60lbs lost and I am finally beginning to see the changes. My arms and thighs are going to hell, but I was expecting that. You can't have been my size for as long as I was my size and not expect there to be permanent damage. I think I am excited, though, that I am finally seeing changes with my double chin. It is getting smaller. Slowly, but it is getting there. Just praying the tightens there and I don't end up with a excess skin there. I am fine anywhere else. Just not there.
On the exercise front I am still going strong. I am on week three on insanity which is exactly what it sounds like and I am insane for even getting this for or starting it in the first place. I must say I wonder why I didn't start sooner.I have discovered the wonderful powers of exercise. It helps a lot with the anxiety. I feel stronger and I am capable of so much more than I had orginally thought. My limitations are shrinking. Soon I will hit 60lbs lost and I am finally beginning to see the changes. My arms and thighs are going to hell, but I was expecting that. You can't have been my size for as long as I was my size and not expect there to be permanent damage. I think I am excited, though, that I am finally seeing changes with my double chin. It is getting smaller. Slowly, but it is getting there. Just praying the tightens there and I don't end up with a excess skin there. I am fine anywhere else. Just not there.
Replies
*hugs* I\'m sorry you have trouble making friends... I\'m the opposite. I\'m always talking to anyone. I wish there was some advice I could give you to make you a social butterfly, but it\'s just our different personalities. I do know what you mean about being alone in groups... I feel that way a lot (and it\'s why I go say hi to people. GREAT JOB on the weight loss! I\'m proud of you.
congratulations of your progress:) I have anxiety also, so I can understand the shyness- attitude is worth more in life than appearance- and sometimes a shift in attitude is all it takes to break the shy pattern, practice talking to sales people is stores (they love to talk) call the wrong number, just for the fun of it:) paint your nails red or something vibrant- do something bold- something different so u feel different, trust me it translates to the outside world- if we feel scared of ppl or shy, they naturally tend to stay back, u have nothing to lose but your fear- good luck to u:)