Getting it together
I woke up early as usual this morning with racing thoughts about all the issues in my life. I'm going to attempt to corral these thoughts/issues here so maybe I can stop obsessing about them all day.
Problem/Issue
Mental Health: I am dealing with depression, anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Leaving him has helped somewhat. I am also trying to get some regular therapy established. I could also see my doctor and consider other medications
Physical Health: I am almost 6 weeks post spinal surgery. I finally saw the Physical Therapist yesterday and she gave me a good talking to about what I'm doing/not doing to get better. I need to start icing the surgery site several times a day, which I started yesterday. I need to keep pain under control and rest when I start to hurt. The PT is scheduling a regular 3 x week therapy for me. These are all do-able.
Financial:
This is the scary one. I am going through a bankruptcy, which should have discharged on 1/20/15. It did not discharge and is in danger of closing on 3/4/15. This is because the court has not received the payment from my lawyer. I have followed up with lawyer & payment was finally sent last Thursday. According to the court it had not been received as of yesterday. I will follow up again today & tomorrow & if not received by Friday, I will send my own payment via overnight registered mail & then deal with getting $$ back from attorney. This is very frustrating as the open bankruptcy is making getting my own place even more difficult.
Also financially, my current income is a whopping $752.00 per month alimony. As of Monday I plan to return to being a part-time Nanny for my 13 month old grandson. This will increase my income by another $600 per month. Not enough to make it. Also caring for my grandson with my back issues will be difficult, but I have committed to do this and I need the income.
I am in addition beginning to look for full-time employment. And I also am looking into self-employment by creating my own on-line store for the items I sew and crochet. I think if I could make another $1000 per month, I would be able to make it. This is what I would like to do.
I need a place to live of my own. This is the biggest need I am feeling right now. I am looking at apartments, but so far the one's that will accept me are not acceptable to me. I may have to lower my standards. I feel that once I have a place where I can get my stuff together maybe I can get my life together. I will continue looking & believing that I can find a decent place.
I see what a mess my life is. All of these issues have come to existence since the beginning of my relationship with this man. I gave up - yes I GAVE UP homes, jobs, financial security, physical & mental health in many ways to give him what I thought he needed. I let all these things go, to give everything to him. My bad.
One step at a time. I will get there.
Problem/Issue
Mental Health: I am dealing with depression, anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Leaving him has helped somewhat. I am also trying to get some regular therapy established. I could also see my doctor and consider other medications
Physical Health: I am almost 6 weeks post spinal surgery. I finally saw the Physical Therapist yesterday and she gave me a good talking to about what I'm doing/not doing to get better. I need to start icing the surgery site several times a day, which I started yesterday. I need to keep pain under control and rest when I start to hurt. The PT is scheduling a regular 3 x week therapy for me. These are all do-able.
Financial:
This is the scary one. I am going through a bankruptcy, which should have discharged on 1/20/15. It did not discharge and is in danger of closing on 3/4/15. This is because the court has not received the payment from my lawyer. I have followed up with lawyer & payment was finally sent last Thursday. According to the court it had not been received as of yesterday. I will follow up again today & tomorrow & if not received by Friday, I will send my own payment via overnight registered mail & then deal with getting $$ back from attorney. This is very frustrating as the open bankruptcy is making getting my own place even more difficult.
Also financially, my current income is a whopping $752.00 per month alimony. As of Monday I plan to return to being a part-time Nanny for my 13 month old grandson. This will increase my income by another $600 per month. Not enough to make it. Also caring for my grandson with my back issues will be difficult, but I have committed to do this and I need the income.
I am in addition beginning to look for full-time employment. And I also am looking into self-employment by creating my own on-line store for the items I sew and crochet. I think if I could make another $1000 per month, I would be able to make it. This is what I would like to do.
I need a place to live of my own. This is the biggest need I am feeling right now. I am looking at apartments, but so far the one's that will accept me are not acceptable to me. I may have to lower my standards. I feel that once I have a place where I can get my stuff together maybe I can get my life together. I will continue looking & believing that I can find a decent place.
I see what a mess my life is. All of these issues have come to existence since the beginning of my relationship with this man. I gave up - yes I GAVE UP homes, jobs, financial security, physical & mental health in many ways to give him what I thought he needed. I let all these things go, to give everything to him. My bad.
One step at a time. I will get there.
Replies
I don\'t have a lot of advice to give. As you know I am struggling, too. I did want you to know that I am here and I am listening. The only thing I can say is to not spend too much time trying to corral your thoughts and sort them out. It is a bit too difficult to manage that. I think of it as \"chaos\". When I am in the midst of \"chaos\" I can\'t manage my thoughts and they drive me crazy. I can\'t make decisions and I can\'t sort anything out. Then, out of the blue comes clarity, unexpected and blissfully sane. Those decisions that I have been trying to sort out come unexpectedly with an obvious answer. I know you have to take care of business but anything that you can delay for now, try to do that. Be calm, take care of yourself, and let the day pass. Then another.
I got this note from the Universe once and I loved it...
Confusion, indecision, and uncertainty, shannon, often mean that if you wait a little longer before deciding, an even better option will emerge, with such clarity it may bite you on the nose and sweep you off your feet.
The nice kind of bite.
I\'d say wait a little longer,
The Universe